by Dr. Dvora Weil
People who feel emotional pain, who feel sad, lonely and anxious or worried for long periods of time can usually benefit from therapy. If you suffer from low self esteem, low self-wroth or you are having difficulties making decisions, psychotherapy could help you sort out the underlining reasons for those feelings. Talking to a friend can sometimes help you feel better at that moment, but it will not last for the long run. It is different from therapy because a friend will want to make you feel good and will be concerned about preserving the relationship. Therefore, they might not necessarily provide an objective interpretation that elicits an insight that will, in turn, lead to a change. The support and guidance of a warm objective psychotherapist will allow you to take time to stop, reflect and internalize.
Another example of person who could benefit from therapy could be someone whose behavior is unsatisfying and self destructive. For example, you are in a painful relationship. Therapy can help to understand how you got there, what challenges you are facing, and clarify where you would want to go next. It is my recommendation, as an Imago certified psychotherapist, to always seek counseling therapy before taking action. Many couples could have saved their marriage if only they were more invested in fixing it, rather than on breaking it.
You might be a very successful businessman but in your personal relationship you are at a loss. Either because you don’t know how to be in a close and intimate relationship, or because you don’t have the time to invest in looking within. Therapy can help you figure out how to bridge the two worlds in a way that will be satisfying and gratifying to you and to people around you.
To those of you who are looking to form a long lasting relationship, therapy can help you figure out what is standing in your way of attaining a long-lasting relationship, and can guide you in finding the type of partner you really need.
You are stuck in a bad work environment unable to assert yourself or to leave the situation. Therapy can give you the strength you need to move on from being stuck. You don’t necessarily need to leave your job. You can always look for way to repair the one you have.
What all those patterns of behavior have in common is motives that are outside of your consciousness. No matter how hard you will work to change them, you might not succeed and then you will end up blaming yourself or feel even worse. The only way to resolve conflicts is by gaining awareness to the cause of the behavior. Awareness will allow you to gain control and take action in a way that will move you forward.
For those of you in a relationship that seems stuck, but are motivated to fix it, therapy is most helpful in teaching communication skills, clarifying misunderstanding, such as to how to handle money, children or other issues. After all, you might actually want the same thing as your partner, and you do love each other but don’t know how to communicate it. Many times that love is hidden deep but it’s alive and well. It is buried behind a mountain of resentment, anger and frustration, which cause you to drift apart, to a point where you feel like strangers. Sitting in front of a couple’s therapist, who hears you both in an objective manner, and teaches you how to express your anger in a manageable way, can be very uplifting for a relationship.
If you find yourself in one of those categories, don’t let time erode your life, your relationship or your self esteem. Seek professional help. Take a step towards improving your life. Sometimes relief is closer then you think.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctabu/342220423