by Majid Mireskandai
There is a common saying that marriages are made in heaven. However, the present scenario with the divorce cases pouring in the legal firms and people frequenting the marriage counselors, the fissures in the conjugal lives of the people are becoming too prominent. It really takes a lot for a marriage to work out. Anger and stress are harmful for any relationship and it is definitely the most abhorred fertilizers that you should not choose to nurture the relationship with your spouse. Do not let your anger flare-ups be the poison killing the bliss in your marital life. The mechanical grind of daily life often makes our head like a pressure-cooker without the safety-valve. Take control of your ego, practice the art of ‘letting go’, befriend your ego, before your marriage hit the rocks.
A Stress Relief Plan
Do you meet your agitated self more than often? If yes, then it is time that you take care of things before it slips away from your hand. The initial months or years of marriage things seem rosy with love and sex life going at great guns. Living under the same proof, getting to know each other too well often makes us to suffer take things for granted. Things begin with small tiffs but if anger becomes a part of your marital diet when kids, work and housekeeping come in the picture, then things can really go haywire. A well-sketched stress relief plan can help you:
- Without avoiding the reasons that gives you the pangs of anxiety and stress, trace out the causes that triggers stress.
- Do you respect each other’s opinion and listen to each other? It counts in easing things out, without making you to fly into a rage and create mayhem during a discord
- Agreed that you do not have to show your love every time. However, make him/ her feel special by simple gestures like cooking, buying a small gift, a little pampering after a fight which often ends with a steamy session on bed
- When love seems to disappear, it seems too commonplace, do not let predictability to override. Otherwise the marital discords can lead to such deep fissures in a relationship, which cannot be healed
Choose Words over Silence
If your personality trait and temperament dictate that you have a volatile temper, but that does not give you the license to create domestic violence. The bouts of anger often lead to depression which can hurt you apart from putting your marriage at stake. When you utter something in the heat of the moment, you might not mean it, but it pierces the heart of your partner like a sting. The positive side is that when you howl and let your anger go, things often boils down to making love. However, silence kills, so do not keep shut. You might feel that it is like showing tolerance or the tenacity to bear, but it seems avoidance for your partner who wants you to retort back when he is venting out his suppressed feelings. Retaliate till things take an ugly turn, but do not bank on silence.
Key Points to Remember with Dealing with Marital Stress
Learning the Art of ‘Prioritizing’
If you have been craving for peace in your married life, do not go much further, look into yourself. Domestic violence not only affects you and your partner; your kids suffer the most apart from your other family members and your neighbors. If you mix up workplace stress with your family life, then it’s a big mistake you are committing. Close all episodes that happened at the workplace before you step inside your home. Do not let alcohol, smoking or any kind of addiction to work as stress buster. Do not binge in too much of junk food. Eat healthy, get proper sleep to bid goodbye to stress and anger.
Deep breathing, practicing yoga and meditation, empower your mind to face the challenges of life with more vigor. Your anger leading to stress needs to be controlled so that you do not end up creating a ruckus at your place with small issues that become part and parcel of a marital life. The mind needs to rest, feel free and rejuvenated and meditation is one of the best ways to do it.
The Stress and Anger Management Classes
If you are fed up with your anger outbursts and leading a stressful life, then there a number of online programs that you can enroll in to bring your life back on track. Domestic violence can play havoc in your life, so before it’s too late, get the help that you require for dealing with stress and anger.
Moments of Togetherness
It pays off often, if you listen to your heart. The mind needs to go into oblivion and be in peace. When you feel that things are not going in the right direction with your spouse, with marital tiffs and domestic violence becoming a common thing, go for a vacation. If a trip is not in the cards, chill out in the weekend, be it partying, playing games, gardening, cooking or whatever that tickles you and your partner’s fancy. Spending quality time with each other also helps in feeling more strongly for each other and realizing the importance and worth of your better half in your life.
Image Credit:Petras Gagilas