Monday. You and your spouse have just had a quick bite and are now off on your way to the bank to talk about a loan. Not just any loan, a mortgage. You can almost hear the background music of cheery sitcoms play as you gleefully enter the bank. Grinning, you think of all the little paintings you’ll put on your walls, all the little knickknacks you’ll lay about the living room, and all the little noises that your future children will make as they run down the hall.
“Why hello Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Please take a seat!” the bank associate says, his smile as big as your dreams. The meeting carries on in the same pleasant manner and you cannot help but get excited! Our OWN home, you think, our own kitchen, our own bedroom our washer and dryer our own-
“I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but I’m afraid we cannot help you at this time. Why not meet with us again in a year when you’ve built up some savings.” What? No house? No washer and dryer…no game room with a bar and pool table? This can’t be! You stand up and walk out, both of you feeling lower then low.
“Well…guess we’d better get back to work,” your husband sighs.
“Yea…” you sigh back, “My boss HATES it when I take long lunches.” You give him a small kiss and drive back to the office, your dreams fading faster than the elegant bank behind you.
Now comes the real problem. How do you deal with this unsettling news? You could use Reinhold Niebuhr’s famous Serenity Prayer, or… you could simply nod yes. According to one study mentioned in The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, nodding and shaking heads have been shown to be powerfully persuasive. How, you ask?
It worked like this:
The runners of the mentioned study asked university students to test out new high-tech headphones to see how well they worked with movement. While either shaking their head “no”, nodding their heads “yes,” or being completely still, students listened to two rock songs and then an editorial on why college tuition should be raised. Afterwards each student filled out a questionnaire that asked his or her opinion of the editorial. Those that nodded “yes” felt that prices should be raised while those who shook “no” felt that prices should be lowered. What’s most amazing was that the students couldn’t say WHY they wanted tuition raised or lowered, only that their opinions were strong.
So how does this apply to the loan hypothetical? Instead of using the prayer you could nod “yes” while you think about how good it would be to wait another year. With another year you can save more, make a financial plan, and take the time to decide on the types of houses you want. Pretty soon waiting a year won’t seem so bad, won’t it?
And the best part about this acceptance nod is that you can tailor it to any situation you have to accept. So the next time you have to face the unfaceable, simply nod your head yes.
And remember,
Dream Well! Dream Postive!!!
Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/daveyp/167906632/
