by Connie Jameson
While looking for our one perfect love, we usually run across a few loves that only seem to be “the one and only”. And then we say goodbye to our illusions, which on the other hand usually helps us make the decision of breaking up with our partner.
No matter whether the decision of separation comes from you or your partner, the recovery from a failed relationship is never easy. Living though this period sometimes takes a lot of time and in order to learn how to bear the whole process more easily, you need to have in mind some of the specialists’ advices that will help you turn back to your “normal” way of life sooner.
Separate like grown-ups
Save yourself the insults, arguments, unwanted arguments and infidelity. Be honest with yourself and your ex-partner and try to separate as friends.
Remember that you won’t feel better if you start blaming your partner for everything that happened between you two, because it is very likely to get the same amount of insults and this usually means that things will get ugly.
If you are married and you have made the serious decision of getting divorced, make it as quickly as you can – the sooner all divorce procedures end up, the faster you will be able to start your new life.
Do not idealize your ex
Often, some people who were walked out on, are inclined to create an idealistic image of the person who is no longer in their life and start blaming themselves for losing the Perfect One. Don’t do that. This way you will only create a non-existing image that you will not be willing to let go easily. Try to face the fact that everybody has their flaws. The same applies to your ex.
Leave the home you have shared with your ex
Try to do the same with all the places where you have been together. Do not put some salt in your own wounds and stop visiting your favourite places, trying to remember the good old days. Change your home, choose another restaurant where you can go in the Friday nights and keep yourself away from all the places that are able to recall the pain back.
Find yourself a new hobby
Start working out, or visit the local theatre more often, start going out with some friends, etc. In other words – start doing everything that you have wanted to do when you had a relationship. Watching romantic movies is strictly prohibited, you can see why, right?
Prepare yourself for the changes in your life
When it’s a fact, the separation and the failed relationship is hanging over your head like a sword, and you think that the pain will never go away. That is not the right approach. Try thinking of all the positive things in your life that are yet to follow. It is time to make changes.
Do not make hasty decisions and start a new relationship very soon
Some people rush into a new relationship right after they have broken up with someone just because they are scared of staying alone. Do not become one of these people.
Wait for a while in order to put your feelings in order before letting yourself fall in love again. Have some rest in order to give yourself the opportunity of taking another person into your life. And the most important thing – when that happens sooner or later, do not compare the new person with your ex spouse. This is not healthy for your new relationship.
Take advantage of the separation
Make some conclusions from this painful separation. Analyze your mistakes, as well as the mistakes of your ex. Of course, don’t forget to point out your advantages. In other words – become a better person and starts loving yourself the way you are.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotorita/2587226758
