1. Positive Thinking? Three Steps To Adopting “Positive Mindset”

    March 28, 2013

    positive thinking

    Image Credit: Junn Kang Too

    Recently, Positive Thinking has become a fashionable and much debated topic in our society. Like any new concept, the positive mindset remains a largely misunderstood idea and sometimes it is being practiced in the wrong way. For example, many people think that having a positive mindset means everything will be okay if they ignore their problems or pretend they do not exist.

    Such thinking is frivolous. Some introspection is required to truly understand and have a positive mindset; one must explore the concept in more depth. I’ve challenged myself to do so, and have come up with the three most important aspects of a positive mindset. These three points are fundamental to applying the concept in a realistic, practical way. We can go further and say, if you absorb these three points and apply them every day, you will benefit from significant improvements in your life.

    So, please read on and consider deeply these three points:

    1. Positive thinking is about taking responsibility for your own life

    A fundamental step to adopting the right kind of positive mindset is the decision to take responsibility for your own life. You must accept that everything that is happening in your life is because of your past actions or inaction. You must stop blaming other people and external circumstances. You, and only you, are responsible for any failures in your life.
    Only you can change your own attitudes and feelings, and then can you handle other people and outside circumstances in a reasonable manner. For example, let’s say it’s raining outside, and that has put you in a bad temper. Your bad mood makes you unproductive at work and argumentative at home.  And all for what? You can’t stop the rain, but you can change your mood. That would be a positive mindset. Do you see what I’m getting at?
    You, and only you, are responsible for your life. Therefore, if you want to achieve something, you must make it happen yourself, nobody else will do it for you. Once you take responsibility for yourself, then you can change your life and start to achieve your goals. However, if you think everything is the responsibility of other people, then you are powerless, and you will never achieve anything.

    Take some paper and write down all the things that you love in your life.

    Now take responsibility for them.

    Well done. You have achieved Point One. You can be proud that you have accepted this responsibility. You are not expecting others to do it. It is YOU, who has gathered together your courage and taken that first decisive step. The good news is that now you have done this, you have control of the situation, and you can start improving it.

    2. Decide what you want

    You have now taken charge of your life and you accept that you are responsible for all your successes and failures. Good. The next step is to decide exactly what you want to do with your life. Positive thinking is mostly about really wanting to achieve your goals and desires, despite everything and everyone around you. If you come up against a difficulty or a problem, don’t just stop and stare at it. You must find a way to overcome it. You can only do that if you know what you want and why you want it. That is why we have Point Two; it is important to decide what you want.
    Stop thinking about what you don’t like and think about what you do like. Concentrate and look deep inside yourself. What are your biggest and deepest desires? Write them down. Say them out loud. Imagine them. Feel them. Visualize them! You see, you do know what you want, and I am sure that immediately you are feeling better for knowing this.
    Sadly, most people surrounding you probably do not know what they want, while they are very good at knowing what you should not want. However, your plans and objectives are none of their business. We are talking about your security, not theirs. These people are obstacles in your path to be ignored, overcome or simply gone around. Stay focused on your goals, and you will surmount all obstacles!

    3. Imagine that you already have it

    At the beginning you might have been sceptical about visualizing your desires. Now is the time to change your mind. Imagine that you already have what you want. Visualize it. The subconscious mind is very powerful! Your subconscious will start thinking about how to achieve that goal, without you realising it.

    In fact, your subconscious mind has always worked for you; you have just never realised it until now. Positive thinking is simply a method for getting in touch with, and using your subconscious mind.
    The more often you imagine that you have achieved your goals, the closer you will come to actually achieving them. Visualization is a tool that successful people use all the time to achieve their goals. If you want to join them, start doing it now!
    If you have read and understood everything written here, then you will have stopped blaming others for a less than perfect situation. By “others” we mean your boss, colleagues, secretary, the opposite sex, government, and the whole world. Now you understand that positive thinking is not an escape from problems. Nor does it mean you can ignore those problems. Instead, it means acceptance and goal-seeking. However, a word of warning – always be realistic in assessing your situation, because positive thinking does not guarantee that everything will be rosy.

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  2. Does Positive Attitude Assist Healing Process?

    March 1, 2013

    Positive attitude

    Image credit: The Doctr @ Flickr.com

    It’s a debate that has gone on for years, and continues to be discussed by physicians and psychologists. The issue of whether positive thinking affects the medical treatment of patients is one that is hard to resolve. Many patients have seen positive, traceable results when they focused on staying optimistic, but psychologist Richard Sloan, a professor of behavioral psychology at Columbia University Medical Center, says that for every patient who has seen results from positive thinking there may be others who thought the same thing and are no longer alive. That said, public figures such as Lance Armstrong, Gabrielle Giffords, and others attribute a large part of their recoveries from serious illnesses and injuries to their strong spirits.

    Although it’s hard to prove, there have been many cases where a positive outlook showed traceable medical improvement in a patient. This confirms the theory of the placebo effect. The placebo effect is defined as “the measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health not attributable to an actual treatment.” In other words, it is when patients are given sugar pills in place of regular medication, or are told that a medical procedure was done, when in reality it was not done, and a measurable improvement occurs. There have been numerous cases where the placebo effect showed marked improvement in patients’ medical conditions, even though no real medical intervention was being administered.

    In 2007 researchers from the University of British Columbia tested the placebo effect on patients with Parkinson’s disease. They gave one group of patients apomorphine, a drug which mimics dopamine, a chemical in the brain that is deficient in patients with Parkinson’s. They gave the second group a placebo, and they, too, released dopamine, in response to the expectation of receiving medication. This study clearly proved the validity of the placebo effect, and as such, that the mind has a large role in medical treatment of the body.

    While physicians and psychologists will continue to debate the issue, there can be no harm in focusing on a good outcome, and it may actually lead to improved results. Dr. Deepak Chopra is a big believer in the power of the mind when it comes to healing. He explains that one who is at peace with himself can reap the benefits of positive thinking, which can include a decline in high blood pressure, weight, stress levels, and other negative symptoms. In Dr. Chopra’s words in an article for the Huffington Post, “The everyday choices we make affect not only our physical health, but all dimensions of our collective health and well being. This is not to say that pharmaceutical and surgical interventions are not warranted… But looking at them to solve all of our illnesses has made us as a society overlook the powerful self-healing mechanisms within us.”

    The objective of practicing positive thinking is to make use of the healing systems that lie within our bodies to help assist in recovery from various illnesses.

    External factors can help patients maintain a positive attitude. Studies have shown that even the scrubs worn by nurses can help improve patients’ state of mind, which can then help them recover. In a study done on hospitalized children in Florence, a large percentage of the children were more confident in their nurses, and were uplifted when their nurses wore printed or colored Carhartt scrubs. While the donning of Carhartt uniforms is only a small factor in the grand scheme of treatment, everything that contributes to a positive state of mind can help facilitate patient recovery.

    A crucial aspect in keeping patients upbeat is adequate family support. Family and friends who visit often and show the patient that they care can have a marked improvement on treatment, as they will cause an uplift in spirits, which can only lead to good things. Doctors, also, will usually make the effort to visit patients and address their fears before a procedure so that the patient will be calm, and the procedure will go smoothly. A good bedside manner is very important in a doctor, and some patients will choose one doctor over another based on this, because the doctor’s bedside manner will also affect the patient’s attitude.

    The Mayo Clinic strongly recommends that patients should practice positive thinking techniques throughout the day, in order to train themselves to think optimistically. They provide tutorials and exercises for patients to become positive thinkers, in order to facilitate the medical treatment being administered.

    Patients have an array of options to choose from when looking to practice various exercises and techniques that will help them remain upbeat. These may include meditation, hypnosis, spirituality, progressive muscle relaxation, and other methods. The factor that all of these practices share is a focus on a calm, peaceful state of mind, which can go a long way toward helping patients’ medical conditions.

    Whether or not a positive state of mind has a serious affect on patient outcome will continue to be debated, but all the experts agree that when it comes to medicine, only good things can come from positive thinking.

    Bio:

    Josh Weiss is a freelance writer and a believer in the power of positive thinking.

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  3. How to start believing in yourself

    February 21, 2013

    “If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will,” people say. Every one of us has our own set of beliefs about ourselves and our abilities. These beliefs define our thoughts about what we deserve in life and what we can and cannot do. These beliefs define our actions.

    Sadly, it is these beliefs that stop many people from going to the new heights in life and fulfilling their dreams.

    positive beliefs

    Photo by Fairuz Othman

    Do you have limiting beliefs?

    If you are unhappy with your current situation for years, but unable to get out of it, you may be a victim of limiting beliefs. More often than not, people stay in conditions they don’t like because deep inside they believe they either don’t deserve or cannot achieve any better.

    This is true for all sorts of situations, such as having the right relationships, getting better health or finding one’s true calling in life.

    –          How many people do you know who constantly complain about their current relationship, but don’t call it quits?

    –          Do you know anyone who hates his job for years, but never looks for another one and never starts his own business?

    –          How about a person who wants better health and leaner body, but never does what it really takes to get it?

    People site all kinds of external obstacles as their reasons to stay in situation they are discontent with.

    They may tell you they stay in an unhappy marriage because everyone lives this way.  They don’t look for another job because you can only get a job if you know the right people. They don’t start a new business because they are afraid to fail. They don’t work on improving their health because “high blood pressure and heart disease runs in the family.”

    In reality, other people around them find better relationships and better jobs, and become the first ones in the family to break the vicious circle of disease.

    They do it because they believe it is possible for them.

    What belief is holding you back?

    To break free from limiting beliefs, it is important to understand where they are coming from.

    Beliefs are formed based on our life experiences and interactions with other people.

    –          We may believe that we are not pretty/witty/interesting enough to get into a relationship with a better person because we never have in the past.

    –          We may believe that a person of our background can NEVER get a better job or become leaner because this is what our parents and our social circles kept telling us.

    Often, people pass their limiting beliefs onto their children. You have likely received some from your family, too.

    Three steps to believing in yourself

    Once we understand what particular belief holds us back, it is time to develop a new belief. Just like an old belief, a new one should be based on experiences and interactions.

    Step 1. Shut off negative noise

    As a first step, shut off anything and anybody who reinforces your old belief. A husband who believes that you can never succeed in business, a friend who thinks you cannot lose weight, and parents who believe it is too risky to change your life situation and that it will only get worse. Naysayers only reinforce your old limiting beliefs and don’t give you a chance to practice new experiences.

    Step 2. Find proof that what you want is possible

    Secondly, you need to find proof that it is possible to achieve what you want. Look for real examples in life. Are there people who did what you want to do and have succeeded? Try not to think about those who failed, because this is an argument that will get you nowhere. You need to list as many examples as you can find. Even if you want “to boldly go where no man has gone before”, there are a lot of examples of people doing so.

    Step 3.  Start small and celebrate mini-successes

    Lastly, you need to start gaining new experiences that prove your new belief.  Too often we concentrate on mulling over our failures instead of celebrating every little successful experience or interaction.  It is through mini-successes in life that we gain that confidence and belief that we CAN DO and WILL DO better.

    Get social support

    There is a simple bullet-proof way to get new experiences and get inspired by other’s doings. You need to surround yourself with people with similar goals and people who already achieved what you are striving to achieve. It is very hard to fight this battle alone. So find yourself a community, offline or online, that operates on a different set of beliefs than your current social circle.

    If you have identified that your limiting belief comes from the people around you, it is time to put your blinders on and associate yourself with other group of people. You really need people who will provide you with enough proof that what you want is achievable, and encourage you to make those mini-steps towards your goal.

    Every big goal is achieved in mini steps. If you want to lose weight, celebrate every time that you chose to eat healthy. Take this as a proof that you are a type of person who makes good decisions, however small they are.  If you want to change jobs, start networking on LinkedIn. Send an invite to people in higher position despite nagging feeling that they will never connect with you. You will be surprised how many actually will, and you will have another reason to celebrate getting a new connection.

    Believing in yourself starts with defining what stops you and eliminating the influence of people who enforce limiting beliefs on you. By finding examples that what you want is possible, making small steps and celebrating your successes, however small they are, you will inevitably start believing that you can and will do better. And then, sky is the limit!

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  4. Spirituality and a Positive You

    February 13, 2013

    by Gail Clarke

    Image by Gail Clarke

    First let me declare that if I have to state a religion I describe myself as Spiritualist.  That said I honestly prefer not to attach labels and to me, it’s more a way of life than a religion.  So for the purpose of this article all that really matters is that you believe, or are ready to consider, that there is ‘something out there’.  That ‘something’ can be God (or a god), your spirit guide, a relative that’s passed on or simply the energy of the universe.

    First I am going to ask you to stop for a moment, put aside all your worries, frustrations and busy activities and think for a while about the bigger picture.  Imagine yourself looking back a year or two from now.  Simply imagine whatever is on your mind at the moment as you might see it in the future.  You may find it easier to look back at a tough time in your life in the past.  Either way, what I want you to do is try and put what’s happening NOW into perspective.  Right this moment it probably seems important but  a couple of years from now …..?

    So with that in mind, ask yourself how much time each week or day you can set aside for what I like to call ‘positive relaxation’.  If you can only manage 20 minutes on Monday and 20 minutes on Thursday then that’s fine.  You may have to be little stricter about keeping that time free than someone who feels they can manage 30 minutes a day but hey – we all have to start somewhere.

    Learning to Switch to Alpha Brainwaves

    There are 4 basic stages of brain activity and it’s worth learning a little about this to understand why the Alpha stage is so important.  Alpha brainwaves come between being conscious and alert and being in a deep sleep.  To slip easily in and out of an alpha state in something that requires practice for most of us.  We all know about taking a siesta but did you know the best siesta is one that lasts between 10 and 20 minutes?

    For the first week or two, simply practice letting go of all your thoughts of daily life, any worries or mental lists of things to do.  Don’t try and clear your mind – this simply won’t happen.  If you find your are working too hard at this, play a little game.  Try and clear your mind and watch for a thought popping in.  When it does just think to your self – ‘wow, where did that come from’ then let it go.  Eventually you should find the thoughts are fewer and more random rather than things to do with the days tasks.  This is the point at which you can move on.

    Sending Our Positive Thoughts
    Once you are confident you can achieve a relaxed almost sleepy state you can start to send out positive thoughts.  They can be ‘big’ or ‘small’ or anything in between.  Now let’s be clear about this.  You may think a positive thought is about a big win on the lottery but no, that’s a ‘wakeful’ thought.  Let me give you 3 examples of what I feel are positive thoughts:

    • A work colleague has said something nasty about you behind your back.  You might send out a thought for the situation to resolve itself.  That doesn’t mean that you hope he/she gets the sack or otherwise suffers for this.  It simply means you are asking for a solution that means it no longer causes worry and negativity in your life.
    • The dog is very ill and you would like it to get better.  Not all things are possible but a positive outcome might be an old dog is no longer in pain, whether that be medication or a release from this life.  It might be that you personally are able to cope better and know when to do the right thing.  It may actually be a miraculous recovery – all things are possible.
    • You have money worries.  Send out a thought for a solution.  This may be  way to earn more money, a sudden windfall, a new job or simply a more positive you that is able to pick up the phone and deal with the bills.

     

    Getting Feedback
    Not everything is about problems as such.  It may be about choices.  This is where I want to ask you not to question too much regarding what you do or don’t believe in.  If you have a spirit guide and they talk directly to you that’s fine (as long as you aren’t fooling yourself).  For most of us it’s enough that we trust that there is ‘something’.  Answers won’t always be black and white and they won’t necessarily come in the expected form, but trust that they will come if you stay positive and allow that ‘something’ to guide you.

    Some examples:

    • You and your partner aren’t getting along.  You don’t know what to do.  You send out your thoughts for a positive resolution to this.  Maybe several days later you are having a coffee while shopping and overhear a couple talking.  You realize you and your partner have so little in common that you know what you have to do.
    • Your teenage daughter is giving you a hard time because she wants a certain outfit you feel is inappropriate.  You wonder if you are right to say no.  The following day your friend tells you about problems with her own daughter and not being able to trust her.  You suddenly realize how lucky you are that you can trust your daughter and that you can feel easy about letting her grow up a little.
    • You feel stuck in a rut but don’t know what to do about it.  A childhood friend makes contact and tells you about their life.  Perhaps they are a vet, let’s say.  Suddenly you see that you would love to be an animal nurse/kennel maid/open a cattery etc.

    Making Room for Something New
    Personally I think this is one of the most important things we can do.  If our life is so busy that there is little free time, then we are not leaving room for anything new to come in.  Send out a few thoughts for ways to leave space in your life and be open to the answers.  They may be proactive things like giving up a time-consuming hobby, doing less overtime at work, planning your shopping by the week so you don’t run to the shops every day or even simply turning off the TV a couple of evenings a week.

    In my own life I have found redundancy led me to open a Post Office.  That took me to a different part of the country which in turn opened up more opportunities.  Of course I could have rushed straight into another job similar to the old but leaving that space for a while and sending out positive thoughts allowed something new to come into my life.

     

    I hope I have inspired you to set a little time aside in your busy life and trust that something higher will help and guide you.  Even in the early stages of this journey you will find peace and tranquility and I wish you every success on your life path.

    Gail Clarke writes on many subjects but has a particular interest in Spirituality.  One of her websites is Other Focus – a New Age

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  5. 10 Grateful Steps to Happiness

    February 6, 2013

    Reprinted from PsyBlog at http://www.spring.org.uk

    Gratitude

    PsyBlog has gone gratitude-mad this week, what with reporting experimental evidence that practicing gratitude can increase happiness by 25% and reviewing ‘thanks’ , the book by the study’s author. To round it off here are Dr Robert Emmons’ top 10 tips for actually becoming more grateful, and consequently more happy.

    1. Keep a gratitude journal

    Sit down, daily, and write about the things for which you are grateful. Start with whatever springs to mind and work from there. Try not to write the same thing every day but explore your gratefulness.

    2. Remember the bad
    The way things are now may seem better in the light of bad memories. Don’t forget the bad things that have happened, the contrast may encourage gratefulness.

    3. Ask yourself three questions
    Choose someone you know, then first consider what you have received from them, second what you have given to them and thirdly what trouble you have caused them. This may lead to discovering you owe others more than you thought.

    4. Pray
    Whether you are Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim or atheist, a ritualised form of giving thanks may help increase gratitude.

    5. Use your senses
    80% of people say they are thankful for their health. If so, then get back in touch with the simple human fact of being able to sense what is out there: use your vision, touch, taste and smell to experience the world, and be thankful you can.

    6. Use visual reminders
    Two big obstacles to being grateful are simply forgetting and failing to be mindful. So leave a note of some kind reminding you to be grateful. It could be a post-it, an object in your home or another person to nudge you occasionally.

    7. Swear an oath to be more grateful
    Promise on whatever you hold holy that you’ll be more grateful. Sounds crazy? There’s a study to show it works.

    8. Think grateful thoughts
    Called ‘automatic thoughts’ or self-talk in cognitive therapy, these are the habitual things we say to ourselves all day long. What if you said to yourself: “My life is a gift” all day long? Too cheesy? OK, what about: “Every day is a surprise”.

    9. Acting grateful is being grateful
    Say thank you, become more grateful. It’s that simple.

    10. Be grateful to your enemies?
    It’ll take a big creative leap to be thankful to the people who you most despise. But big creative leaps are just the kind of things likely to set off a change in yourself. Give it a try.

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Love and Spirituality, Motivational, Positive Psychology Blog | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on 10 Grateful Steps to Happiness

  6. Take Your Dreams Back!

    January 30, 2013

    IMAGINATIONThe imagination is an amazing tool that the mind utilizes to paint a visual picture of what’s hidden inside of the heart. To imagine what it would be like to be exactly where you want to be in life is something that even the greatest amongst us has done from time to time, and in fact, it’s probably what motivated them to be where they are right now. The imagination has the ability to take us anywhere we want to go, however; when what we see when we open up our eyes in reality totally differs from what we imagined, how can one stay motivated?

    Reality can be a tricky place to live in depending on the foundation its build upon. Reality has the ability to exclude some things from the eyes of a dreamer that would cause them to believe that a dream is just a dream. The conditions of the world, the seemingly impossible price tag that’s attached to what we want, and the “negative supporters”, all play their part in the devouring of dreams. When you begin to pull out your list of downfalls and rejections, it becomes very easy to believe that maybe what you want is not meant to be, and the fact that so many other people around you appear to be living out your dreams does nothing but confirm those negative feelings that you have instead of inspiring you to believe that if it can happen for them then it can happen for you. A lot of us have had to endure the hard task of developing our own reality in order to survive. It’s a reality that insists on moving forward and refusing the alternative. In this reality we find our motivation and we become firm believers in the fact that there is enough of God’s love and provision to go around and there is no fear of it running out!

    Do not give fear and negativity the opportunity to cause a forfeit in your crusade for purpose.

    When you have a dream, it almost seems as though mistakes, doubt, fear, and everything else negative under the sun is drawn to it just like a magnet. You find yourself fighting for, defending and pleading with the very things you once felt so passionate about until you get so tired that you decide to take a time out. It is during this “time out” that distractions come and cause you to forfeit everything except for the memories of what could have been because life likes to save those for later to taunt you with, just when you thought you couldn’t feel any lower. You have to get to a point where the discovery of your destiny means so much to you that you are not willing to trade it in for defeat. To give up on your contribution to the world is not an option. To live stagnant in the midst of change is removed from your state of mind from this point on!

    Take your dreams back!

    Sometimes a person can feel that because they have reached a certain age or made numerous mistakes in life that it is too late for dreams. Sometimes life has a very cunning way of making you believe that it is just simply not going to happen, however; I challenge you to believe that you can achieve whatever you believe in! Matthew 9:29 Then touched he their eyes, saying, according to your faith be it unto you. The things you are in search of are reliant upon your faith. It is the avenue of your faith that your dreams are allowed to travel through. Your faith is the road map and if you do not provide your dreams with the directions then they will never find you. It is up to you to take your dreams back by claiming them and providing an atmosphere in which they can live and survive in. Though many dreams are commonly desired, those that belong to you have your name on them, and are for you only, so do not let the success of others around you make you shrink back from the possibility of your own. Learn to develop an attitude that says I’d rather try and fail then to not try at all because to play the, should’ve, could’ve game is bad for your spiritual and mental health!

    A dream (meaning a goal or a vision) is not simply just a dream but it is a mental revelation to the purpose of your life on this earth and it can sometimes become reoccurring, almost like a warning until you do something about it. It is the one thing that stays in your heart and in your memories even when everything and everyone else has left you. The imagination is a gift from God that allows you to see as much as your heart is willing to expose to you and after that, God will go above and beyond that, simply because you dared to believe that in the midst of adversity that he could still do anything. Can you imagine that?

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