1. A Life Time With Depression

    December 24, 2013

    A Life Time With Depression

    By Laura Copeland

    When I think about how hard my life has been it still cuts me up sometimes. I wonder what a depression free life would have been like, if my childhood was happy and fun, if I hadn’t had this dark cloud overshadowing my whole life, if I hadn’t spent most of my life being my own worst enemy.

    I can’t even remember when it all began, when I first started feeling like this. I’ve always been this way for as long as I can remember. Even when I think back as far as I can, I remember how hard my life felt and how I just didn’t want to exists.

    I didn’t even know I was depressed until after I was diagnosed when I had my daughter at the age of 23, I just always thought, this is how life is. I look at how happy and confident my daughter is now and it makes me realise it was not normal at all.

    It makes me think how did no one notice, how could I go through my whole childhood being that depressed. I mean I couldn’t tell anyone because I didn’t realise there was anything to tell, but how didn’t anyone else see?

    Even the social workers didn’t see what was going on and tried to pin it on abuse, which there was none. I always felt like I was a trouble maker and a lot of the time I was made to feel like I chose to be like this, like it was my fault. All I wanted was the love and understanding I needed and the help to get better.

    When you’re a child with depression and you don’t know what’s going on, it’s like you have no control because you can’t just go to the doctors for help. I remember wishing so many times for someone to help me, for someone to see that I didn’t want to be like this and I wasn’t just trying to cause trouble.

    This has been the case for most of my adult life as well and I have only recently been able to get my depression under control, although I have had a recent lapse. It seems to me that I can achieve a period of time where I feel like I live my life without depression but the challenge is the maintenance. And I have only had two of these depression free periods, which isn’t many in a total of 30 years.

    Does all this make me want to give up though?

    No way, I’ve tasted freedom and it makes me more determined to find this permanently. There are so many things I’ve tried and some of them work very well for me and it’s about commitment.

    I know exercise and mediation work wonders for me but it doesn’t mean I always have the motivation to fit them into my life. Even though I know they will make me feel so much better I still have some resistance.

    I mean I’ve been this way for nearly the whole of my life and it’s so scary making that change for good. It’s a learning process and I the older I get the easier it is. There are now so many things I just don’t see the point in getting upset about, like I used to.

    There is one thing I know for sure and it’s that a lot of how I am is down to not thinking I’m good enough and at my worst times I would literally bully myself in my head. I had no chance, constantly telling myself how no one cared and how I was no good and when I say constantly I mean every minute of every day!

    Talk about living in hell but that is the one thing that I have managed to control. I can’t even imagine doing that to myself on a daily basis, to that extent anymore. Of course I still put myself down now and again but it’s mostly specific to something I’ve done, instead of a running commentary in my head.

    Being able to stop this habit has transformed my life and it has given me hope of full recovery. It has shown me that I can change, even something that I’ve done for the whole of my life, something that is so embedded in me it felt like it was a part of me.

    My life may have been hard up until this point, well it still is but I am so close to coming out on the other side. And when I do it will be my soul goal to help others break free too.

    I mean, I just have to, otherwise what was it all for? Knowing that I can use all the heartache I’ve been through to help so many others, makes it all worth it. It has also made me who I am and I slowly love that person more and more every day.

    We all have a purpose and we all can make a difference in the world and I hope to make beating depression mine.

    Not only for myself but for everyone I have the privilege to inspire.

    Author Bio: Laura Copeland is the founder of Female Worth, empowering women to accept the best, attract the best because they deserve the best. Female Worth is a site dedicated to helping women live the lives of their dreams by enabling them to believe in themselves and grow strong self-worth.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sophiadphotography/10597799035/

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  2. The Evolution of Psychotherapy

    December 22, 2013

    The Evolution of Psychotherapy

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  3. Iceland Tops Worldwide Antidepressant Consumption

    December 20, 2013

    Iceland Tops Worldwide Antidepressant Consumption

    by Niall McCarthy

     

    Over the course of the past ten years, the consumption of anti-depressants has skyrocketed across much of the developed world. According to the OECD, rich countries are consuming at least 10 percent more antidepressants than they were a decade ago.

    Even though rates of depression have not risen globally, more people are being diagnosed with the illness all over the world. Awareness levels about depression have proven an important factor when it comes to greater drug consumption – greater awareness leads to greater social acceptance of medication.

    The OECD also stated that the financial crisis may have been a factor in recent spikes in antidepressant prescriptions. In Spain and Portugal, consumption has increased by a whopping 20 percent over the past five years. What country is actually on top when it comes to taking this type of medication?

     

    Iceland is way ahead at almost twice the OECD average. An early casualty of the global financial crisis, it has the highest prescribing rate at 105.8 doses per day per 1,000 inhabitants. In 2000, this figure was 70.9 per 1,000.  Back in 1989, it was just 14.9. These consumption levels can be attributed to the catastrophic failure of Iceland’s three primary banks, as well as the fact that alternative treatments for depression, such as psychotherapy, are deeply unpopular.

    When compared with those alternative treatments, antidepressant drugs were viewed as being more effective by the Icelandic population. However, research suggests that the prescription of this medication has still had little impact on depression levels in the country. On the contrary, percentage of people seeking psychiatric consultations have actually increased.

    After Iceland, Australia, Canada, Denmark and Sweden round off the top five countries for the consumption of antidepressant medication. Drugs are now being used in milder cases and this is heightening concerns about their appropriateness as a first resort for sufferers. The majority of psychiatrists agree that medication works well on people suffering from severe cases of depression – they should not be used in milder instances.

    More than one in 10 people in developing nations are taking antidepressant medication. In the United States for instance, 10 percent of adults take antidepressants. In China, the market has grown by 20 percent for each of the past three years. This begs the question. Why are doctors freely prescribing these drugs to so many people?

    Though there have been cases of people trying to commit suicide, antidepressants are not addictive and side-effects are kept to a minimum. As it stands antidepressants are overprescribed in a desperate attempt to combat growing life dissatisfaction and unhappiness. It seems like they are the “quick and easy solution”.

    There are depression treatments that can be administered non-pharmacologically – psychotherapy methods (e.g. cognitive behaviour therapy) are widely regarded as being as effective as antidepressants in the long term. Doctors need to start correctly identifying the symptoms of milder depression and start realising that drugs are not always the answer.

     

    Image Credit: Jeff Schmaltz/Wikimedia

     

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  4. Teenage Depression – A Short Guide for Parents

    December 18, 2013

    Teenage Depression

    Just about every teenager has bouts of sadness, as the teen years can be somewhat difficult and confusing at times.  Sad moods are one thing, but depression is another. Teenage depression is much more than sadness and can become a problem if not recognized or treated.  It can certainly lead toward problems like substance abuse, self-mutilation, aggression, and suicide.  As a parent, you probably think that your teen would not struggle with depression, but a high number of teens do, so it is important to recognize the signs.
     

    Signs and symptoms

     
    The teen years can be challenging, as teens have to face all sorts of pressures, hormones, challenges, and so on.  Many teens wrestle with questions about who they are and how they fit in.  They also can have issues with parents resulting in conflict.  As teens embark on their journey to independence, they certainly hit some bumpy spots on the road, and sometimes they can enter a period of sadness. This state of sadness is common and usually does not pose a problem or last too long. It is when the sadness intensifies and lasts for weeks and months that the teen enters into a state of depression.

    Here are the most common characteristics of teenage depression:

    • Extreme sadness
    • Lethargy
    • Frequent crying
    • Irritability
    • Fatigue
    • Problems getting to sleep or sleeping all the time
    • Restlessness
    • Hopelessness
    • Suicidal thoughts
    • Aggression
    • Change in eating habits

     

    How depression affects teens

     
    If a teenager is struggling with depression, he or she will most likely have some problems in various areas of life.  Though some teens may be able to keep problems to a minimum, others will act out their depression at home and/or at school.

    At school the teen’s grades could drop, he may skip classes or days, be aggressive toward peers or teachers, or drop out. At home the teen can withdrawal from family and friends, be rebellious, act out, turn to alcohol or drugs to self-medicate, get addicted to the internet, and engage in high-risk behaviors like substance abuse addiction, unsafe sex, or crazy driving behaviors.
     

    What to do if you think your teenager is suicidal

     
    If your teen is talking about suicide or if you think he or she is suicidal for any reason, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.  You will be given assistance as to what you can do to help your teenager.

    Here are some signs that your teen may be suicidal:

    • Kidding around about suicide
    • Making comments like, “I feel like crashing into a tree,” or “I just wish I could disappear,” or “I’d be better off dead for sure.”
    • Romanticizing dying
    • Drawing pictures or writing stories about death or suicide
    • Reckless behavior
    • Getting a weapon or a bunch of pills

     

    Talking with your teen

     
    If you think that your teen is struggling with depression, sit down and have a talk with him or her right away. Tell him that you have been observing particular signs of depression. Let him know that you are concerned and that you want to help. Encourage him to own up to his depression if that be the case and give a good dose of support and unconditional love as he does.

    Many teens will deny that they are struggling out of feeling ashamed or afraid.  Let him know that you are there for them, that you understand about depression, and that there is help available.  Be gentle with him and let him open up on his time.  Do not judge or patronize him. He needs open arms.
     

    Treatment

     
    There are various treatments available for depression.  Call your doctor to set up an appointment for a depression screening or go directly to a psychologist.  Encourage your teen to go to therapy and be open and honest with the counselor. Oftentimes all it takes is a series of therapy sessions for your teen to minimize or eliminate the depression.  He may simply need to learn some coping skills or vent many feelings to a person who can offer insight and advice.

    Sometimes depression is due to a chemical imbalance, so there are anti-anxiety medications available for such cases.  Your teen would have to visit a psychiatrist for an assessment and evaluation.  Many teens do not need medication, but for those that do, it has been known to help minimize and alleviate many depressive symptoms.

    Your teen can get help for depression.  As a parent, you can play a part in that, so do your best to be alert to depressive signs and offer the help that you can.

    Image Credit: Alexis Tejeda @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexonrails/5701764082

     

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  5. Geriatric Depression

    December 14, 2013

    Geriatric Depression

    There are millions of people in the world today who struggle with depression. It is one of the most common reasons why people visit doctors, whose typical response is to prescribe anti-depressants. Any human have struggled with depression at some point in their life. Maybe a close friend or a family member passed away, maybe the love of your life broke your heart, maybe you feel stuck in a situation that you cannot figure out a way to get out of, whichever the case, depression can be found everywhere. One thing many people do not realize is that the elderly get hit by depressed especially hard. In western countries the rate of depression among elderly could run as high as 20% overall with 30-40% among those living in institutions.

    Why they are struggling with depression.

    The elderly typically struggle with depression because they feel that their life has no purpose anymore. They raised their children, worked at their job until retirement, and accomplished all that they needed to when they were younger. They may also be dealing with recent deaths, health issues, or loneliness.

    How to help them.

    Even if you are struggling with depression yourself, helping others is a form of making you feel happier and more accomplished and is actually a way to fight your depression. One of the greatest actions you can take if you are struggling with depression is helping others who are in the same situation, including the elderly. They need to feel love and hope just as you do. Volunteer at a nursing home, visit the elderly in the hospital a few times a week, or even just make friends with the elderly person who visits your work every day. You can help each other fight depression and maybe even become good friends in the process.

    Encourage therapy.

    Plenty of people today go to therapy to try to work through the problems in a healthy way. If you know an elderly friend who is struggling with depression, encourage them to go to therapy to try to work through the negative feelings. A therapist will try to figure out what the cause of the depression is and once they know that, they can come up with a solution together.

    The elderly should feel good as they age.

    Typically, the elderly have accomplished a lot in their lives and are looking forward to their older years as a time to relax and enjoy life to the fullest. If they are struggling with depression, they will not be able to enjoy their last years. Encourage your elderly friends to feel good as they age and know that life is good. Their lives are not over and they still have fun times ahead of them. Encourage your elderly friends or family members to continue to live life to the fullest and remember that they are important to you.

    Everyone can struggle with depression and most people have at some point in their life. Take the steps to fight the depression and live your life in happiness and peace.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nwardez/4033116300

     

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  6. How to Identify and Manage Depression and Anxiety

    December 12, 2013

    Manage Depression and Anxiety

    by Vickie Parker, LMFT

    In the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, # IV) there are three stages of depression; mild, moderate, and severe. There are nine criteria used to diagnose Major Depressive Disorder (MDD);   

     

    –  Depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities for more than two weeks.

    –  Mood represents a change from the person’s baseline.

    –  Impaired function: social, occupational, educational.

    –  Specific symptoms, at least 5 of these, present nearly every day:

    1.  Depressed mood or irritable most of the day, nearly everyday, as indicated by either  subjective

    report: (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful).

    2.  Decreased interest or pleasure in most activities, most of each day

    3.  Significant weight change (5%) or change in appetite

    4.  Change in sleep: Insomnia or hypersomnia

    5.  Change in activity: Psychomotor agitation or retardation

    6.  Fatigue or loss of energy

    7.  Guilt/worthlessness: Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt

    8.  Concentration: diminished ability to think or concentrate, or more indecisiveness

    9.  Suicidality: Thoughts of death or suicide, or a suicide plan

    Depression can be caused from unfortunate circumstances in our life, like loss of a loved one, losing a job, or moving to a different location.  There are many other examples, but these are just a few.  When depression is caused from a situation it is called situational depression and the depression should pass in a reasonable amount of time.

    If the depression continues for more that 6 months it could turn into clinical depression, which means the brain is not producing enough neurotransmitters for us to work through our depression and a lot of times antidepressants need to be prescribed from a physician to help us think better, thereby helping to alleviate the depression.

    Depression is usually treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  One book that helps to deal with depression is “Feeling Good” by Dr. David Burns.  This book discusses the exercises that help with identifying destructive thought patterns, so we can change them and start looking at things differently and “feel better”.

    Depression can also be cause from a lack of connection with others.  We isolate ourselves when we start feeling depressed or we feel isolated from others and that leads to depression.  It is important to always stay connected to others through some sort of social activities.  Could be through your church, volunteer groups, or social clubs.

    If we do not have a good balance in our life, depression usually only gets worse.  It is important to get at least 7 to 8 hours of good sleep every night and have a routine of going to bed and getting up at a regular time each day.

    Exercising helps us sleep and feel better. Without some form of exercise in our life we are much more prone to depression.  Just taking a 30 minute walk daily can make the difference in how we feel. Work on getting a walking partner and that will help you stay connected to someone.

    Eating a balanced diet and keeping our weight down is also essential in feeling good and not getting depressed. There is good information on eating a good balanced diet on the web and creating a healthy lifestyle. Make a plan and find an accountability partner to help make the changes. Discipline and a desire to change and do the work makes the difference in our success.  It will not happen over night so be patient with yourself.  The secret is commitment and consistency.

    Anxiety that escalates to the level of clinical condition is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and the symptoms are;

    • Irrational worry
    • Preoccupation with unpleasant worries
    • Trouble relaxing
    • Feeling tense
    • Fear that something awful might happen

    Anxiety is also treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and relaxation exercises help with relieving the intensity of the anxiety.  Practicing the relaxation exercises daily trains our brain to know what it feels like to relax.  Deep breathing and visualizing a peaceful place is where it starts.  Don’t get discouraged if your brain has a hard time staying focused and slowing down, just keep practicing.  It works. Create a quiet, peaceful environment with some soft music and low lights to practice every day at least three times.

    Often anxiety can lead to clinical depression, if not treated properly. When we are anxious our bodies are in a constant “Fight or Flight” mode. This puts a great deal of stress on our bodies and eventually we crash and go into depression. Feeling “Burned Out” is a term we use when we are feeling exhausted and have no energy for an extended amount of time.

    If you think you are depressed or have anxiety, seek professional help. It can make the difference in overcoming the sadness or anxiety.  Depression and anxiety are not fun and it can suck the life right out of us. It is important for you to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling, but there is hope. It takes courage to seek help and make the changes, but it is worth it.

    Author Bio: Vickie Parker, is a therapist licensed in Marriage and Family Therapy. To read more of Mrs. Parker’s blogs visit her web site vickiemft.com

    Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/evarinaldiphotography/9213376274

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  7. Insomnia and Depression- How the Two Dance Together

    December 10, 2013

    Insomnia and Depression- How the Two Dance Together

    Insomnia and depression are 2 conditions that essentially go together, hand in hand. The lack of rest on a nightly basis for a long period of time leads to an incredible amount of damage toward the mental psyche, and causes changes in the way that an individual perceives daily routines. This is something that can be put into consideration on the notion of common sense. The effect a lack of sleep has on mental health has led to a study conducted at Ryerson University, and claim, that curing insomnia and curing depression fall under similar criteria.

    When a body and mind experience a lack of rest over a long period of time the perception toward everything around an individual changes. When the body and mind are exhausted the most mundane and simple tasks can be seen as challenging, and an overpowering sense of negativity can be felt as a result. The development over time of these negative feelings can lead to them gradually taking over the mind and body, and eventually this leads to the very birth of the condition we know as ‘depression’.

    Therapy and Defeating Insomnia

    Therapy that has been based around effectively curing ‘depression’ has put a study into place around the idea of insomnia, and the interaction it has with depression. The study states by taking various thought processes and structuring the way a mind perceives them, a certain kind of ‘calm’ can be achieved, which will lead to acquiring better sleep patterns. From this, the acquiring of better sleep patterns, the mind will be able to function more clearly, and the result will be a more rested and clear psyche. Thus, the claim that curing insomnia can help cure depression.

    When the body is deprived of a need such as rest, than it falls into a position of panic, stress is heightened, and negative thoughts eventually become a common routine. The claim that healthier sleeping patterns will help cure depression is correct, but it is also a statement that is common sense. The more important thing to recognize in all of this is the idea of ‘perception’, and the coping technique of how to mentally digest various thoughts and feelings. The coping technique of how to take various ideas and stresses in is the actual component that is helping cure the depression, the sleep is simply a side-component. Acquiring sleep is definitely something the body needs, but the effective management of things that make us think and cause stress is the idea here that is most important.

    When the mind is racing and thinking about several different problematic ideas, than the opportunity to get a healthy amount of rest becomes quite challenging. The ability to acquire coping techniques to keep the mind frame in a stable place helps treat the problem we know as depression, and it also defeats the other problem, insomnia.  Do insomnia and depression happen together all the time? Not always. Can learning how to defeat insomnia contribute to a healthier mind frame? Absolutely. The important thing to keep in mind however is that insomnia and depression are two entirely separate problems, and while insomnia can worsen the condition of depression, it isn’t the cause of it. Insomnia is a common side-effect of depression.

    The therapy of curing insomnia is based heavily around our problem solving abilities and how to separate thoughts when they come to mind. When you take a stressful situation and learn how to properly break it down and cope with the final outcome, that is a piece of education that is directly relevant toward overcoming depression. Depression is often associated with the inability to think clearly, and the result of this unclear thinking leading to a lack of motivation, and an overwhelming outcome of negative feelings. These negative feelings are the part of the equation that an individual can’t take control of, and usually is the core of the condition we know as depression. The ability to properly cope with ideas, and separate and understand ideas may be considered a way of ‘curing’ insomnia, but more importantly it is a skill that in itself can help deal with depression. Curing and overcoming depression isn’t so much about making it fully go away, but about how to maximize an individual’s control  over the feelings it can bring.

    Curing Insomnia is Curing Depression

    I think that when you take this statement you have to be careful with how far you place the two together on the same concept, as I’ve mentioned before. A lack of sleep certainly does contribute toward the development of depression, but the sudden ability to rest and get a full night’s sleep shouldn’t be deemed a ‘cure’ for depression. The necessity to separate the claim that curing insomnia can help conquer depression as opposed to the claim it can ‘cure’ it is essential. The ability to overcome the mental condition known as depression has far more strings attached beyond the ability to simply get a good night’s rest. The key to overcoming depression is associated with defining what the condition depends on to exist. From these core dependencies the development of an effective plan to manage stress with various coping strategies, a healthy daily routine, and healthy rest all play vital roles when combating depression. Basing depression solely around the idea of sleep is not only an error, but a delivery of false hope for people who struggle with the condition. The ability to see the condition for all that it is will be the only path that leads to eventually curing it.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/federicoravassard/8552043273

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  8. Can You Benefit From Psychotherapy?

    December 8, 2013

    Can You Benefit From Psychotherapy?

    by Dr. Dvora Weil

     

    People who feel emotional pain, who feel sad, lonely and anxious or worried for long periods of time can usually benefit from therapy. If you suffer from low self esteem, low self-wroth or you are having difficulties making decisions, psychotherapy could help you sort out the underlining reasons for those feelings. Talking to a friend can sometimes help you feel better at that moment, but it will not last for the long run. It is different from therapy because a friend will want to make you feel good and will be concerned about preserving the relationship. Therefore, they might not necessarily provide an objective interpretation that elicits an insight that will, in turn, lead to a change. The support and guidance of a warm objective psychotherapist will allow you to take time to stop, reflect and internalize.

    Another example of person who could benefit from therapy could be someone whose behavior is unsatisfying and self destructive. For example, you are in a painful relationship. Therapy can help to understand how you got there, what challenges you are facing, and clarify where you would want to go next. It is my recommendation, as an Imago certified psychotherapist, to always seek counseling therapy before taking action. Many couples could have saved their marriage if only they were more invested in fixing it, rather than on breaking it.

    You might be a very successful businessman but in your personal relationship you are at a loss. Either because you don’t know how to be in a close and intimate relationship, or because you don’t have the time to invest in looking within. Therapy can help you figure out how to bridge the two worlds in a way that will be satisfying and gratifying to you and to people around you.

    To those of you who are looking to form a long lasting relationship, therapy can help you figure out what is standing in your way of attaining a long-lasting relationship, and can guide you in finding the type of partner you really need.

    You are stuck in a bad work environment unable to assert yourself or to leave the situation. Therapy can give you the strength you need to move on from being stuck. You don’t necessarily need to leave your job. You can always look for way to repair the one you have.

    What all those patterns of behavior have in common is motives that are outside of your consciousness. No matter how hard you will work to change them, you might not succeed and then you will end up blaming yourself or feel even worse. The only way to resolve conflicts is by gaining awareness to the cause of the behavior. Awareness will allow you to gain control and take action in a way that will move you forward.

    For those of you in a relationship that seems stuck, but are motivated to fix it, therapy is most helpful in teaching communication skills, clarifying misunderstanding, such as to how to handle money, children or other issues. After all, you might actually want the same thing as your partner, and you do love each other but don’t know how to communicate it. Many times that love is hidden deep but it’s alive and well. It is buried behind a mountain of resentment, anger and frustration, which cause you to drift apart, to a point where you feel like strangers. Sitting in front of a couple’s therapist, who hears you both in an objective manner, and teaches you how to express your anger in a manageable way, can be very uplifting for a relationship.

    If you find yourself in one of those categories, don’t let time erode your life, your relationship or your self esteem. Seek professional help. Take a step towards improving your life. Sometimes relief is closer then you think.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctabu/342220423

     

     

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  9. Holiday Blues and the Sense of Belonging

    December 6, 2013

    Holiday Blues and the Sense of Belonging

    With Christmas just around the corner psychologists and therapists can expect working long hours. Why? Don’t we all perceive the holidays as being a happy and joyful time? Not necessarily. For some the holidays are not a joyous time due to an anxiety condition referred to as the holiday blues.

    If you are feeling sadness, anxiety, depression and low energy, for no apparent reason, you might be experiencing the holiday blues. This condition tends to be temporary and seasonal. It may effects men and women young and old.

    The holiday season may trigger sad memories. During the holidays, when families gather from far or nearby,   hidden or overt  conflict may arise.  Some families face conflicting decision about where and with whom to celebrate. Some are far apart. Some meet family members they’d rather not. All these reasons and more may lead people to feel sad, depressed and anxious during the holiday season. The good news is that those are all temporary conditions. Once the holidays are over, the intensity of these feelings usually disappear.

    Also, people who are not involved in a meaningful relationships, or are in an unhappy relationship, they may dread the holidays because they feel lonely. They might cope, and suppress their feelings until they observe the intense social activity around the holiday. which by large is joyous. Hence they face pain that is connected to an innate basic human need – the Need to Belong.

    If those words ring true to you and you are experiencing the Holiday Blues, your response is normal and you are not alone. Research indicates that the absence of sense of belonging serves as major predictor of depression.

    To preserve the humankind Nature “made sure” that we would feel an innate need to connect and to be in a relationship in order to maintain our physical safety and to feel the need to procreate.  Psychologists emphasize that “sense of belonging” is a key factor in a person’s mental well being. A great contribution to this concept made the psychologist, Abraham Maslow who formulated a Hierarchy of ten Needs, three out of these ten will be mention here. The first one is the physiological need for nutrition, water and oxygen without which humans cannot survive. The second need is for safety and security, which simply means the instinctive need to keep us alive, safe and free from harm. The third basic need is the need to love and belong. When physiological and safety needs are by and large taken care of, this third layer starts to manifest itself. We begin to pay attention to the need for family, friends, and the need for affectionate relationship in general. We feel the innate, instinctive need to belong. This need, or the absence of it, is strongly felt around the holiday season. People who are not involved in meaningful relationships or are in unhappy relationships, are susceptible to feel more lonely, depressed and anxious than they would normally feel during the year.

     

    Your mental system, mind, psyche – call it whatever you like – is signaling you that it does not get the nourishment it needs to preserve your emotional well being.

    It compels you to pay attention to some elements in your life that need adjustments, care, or change. These painful emotions, coming from your mental system, are comparable to the physical pain signals sent by your body when it is under distress. In both cases we need to take action to alleviate the pain, or else. . .

    Some of you may have noticed these feelings before, but thought that if you “just did not think about it” it might go away. You may be high functioning individual but nevertheless if you feel lonely, something is missing in your life. The signals from your mental system will persist, until you acknowledge their existence and take actions.

    To those of you who are involved in an unhappy relationship, time is not on your side. Fulfilling relationships require awareness and continuous nurturing. Look for self help books, relationship workshops or seek to couple’s counseling.  Some of you will be surprised to discover that given the suitable guidance, your relationship will take the desirable turn.

    If you are single and find it difficult to form or keep relationships, find out what is holding you back. Find out why you are hiding and sabotaging your own desires. See if you repeat the same relationship pattern and repeatedly attract the same partners. Raising awareness of your inner motives will guide you in making better choices. It is entirely in your hands to transform your life for the better.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/60509459@N00/6585233675

     

     

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  10. What Does Social Anxiety Feel Like?

    December 2, 2013

    What Does Social Anxiety Feel Like?

    Social anxiety is a growing problem in the United States. More and more people are becoming diagnosed with this disorder. It is definitely not a made-up disorder. Many people may think it’s “no big deal,” but it is a huge deal to those that are diagnosed with it. It is no mild feeling of uncomfort like many people think of it as. It is extremely stressful to the person that is diagnosed with it, and it can have a huge impact on their daily lives. Social anxiety is something that needs to be addressed and taken seriously.

     

    Variable Between People

    First of all, social anxiety is extremely variable between people. For some people, social anxiety could only occur when there is a large group of people (50+ people). Others may notice panic attacks when going to the grocery store to pick up groceries. For others, it could be when having a conversation with a couple people. Others could even have anxious or nervous thoughts about picking up the telephone and calling the mechanics shop to see if their car is fixed. Social anxiety varies in types and severities from person to person, but it provides a great amount of stress to all of the people that have it.

     

    Daily Struggle

    People with social anxiety struggle with their feelings every day. These feelings can take control over their lives. They can seemingly smother their lives by affecting their feelings every single day. People with social anxiety have super strong feelings that can hurt their ability to contact with people.

     

    Social anxiety can affect a person’s ability to connect with people. People who can’t connect with others on a social level can’t make friends themselves. Thus, people with social anxiety are usually the quiet people that don’t have much to say. They also have a tendency to be a “loner.”

     

    People with social anxiety always struggle with worry. They worry about being in social situations. They fret over the least things. If they say or do something wrong, they think that the people around them will hold the thought in their head for a long time. Many think that others will never forget their embarrassing words or actions. In reality, others actually let things go pretty easily, but people with social anxiety have trouble grasping that idea. People who struggle with social anxiety have trouble being in social situations, and they always worry about what others will think of them. It is thought that their worry about what others think about them is the cause for their worry of being in social situations.

     

    Children and teens with social anxiety tend to be the quiet people in school. They have a tendency to be the people who sit in the back of the classroom and don’t say much. They obviously struggle with oral reports. Many even have trouble raising their hand to answer a question. This can occur even if they know the answer. They usually get embarrassed easily.

     

    Adults with social anxiety struggle with being in social situations also. They usually have anxious thoughts about going to work, and they almost always worry about their boss will think of them. They feel like they’re going to mess up somehow. They also have anxious thoughts about their co-workers and other equivalent employees. Many have anxious thoughts about eating in a restaurant. They usually feel like they are going to drop their plate and get embarrassed. They may even struggle with getting their plate filled. They can feel like they will spill food when filling their plate and everybody will look at them with disgust.

     

    In conclusion, the people who have social anxiety struggle with their anxiety every single day. They have trouble communicating efficiently and struggle with making friends. They live their lives with constant worry and fear of embarrassment. The above situations are just a few of the many struggles that people with social anxiety deal with on a daily basis. Social anxiety affects a surprising number of people. These people become overwhelmed by daily life, but they somehow deal with it. Often, people hide their anxiety. Many people never even get diagnosed with their anxiety. Cognitive behavior therapy and sometimes even anti-anxiety medications are used to treat the people who struggle with social anxiety. This type of treatment can be of great help to people who struggle with social anxiety.

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