1. Brené Brown on Vulnerability and Shame

    May 3, 2013

    Vulnerability and Shame

     

    by Gabriela D. Acosta

     

    If Brené Brown has taught us anything it is that the path to wholehearted living is not an easy one. It’s not something that you can attain overnight by making a few life tweaks and adjustments.

     

    When presenting her theories at TED conferences, the social work research-professor openly shares her experiences with shame, emotional “breakdowns” and vulnerability. The mention of delving into those three things are probably enough to make you click this page shut without a second thought, but what the concept of wholehearted living offers in return for exploring these scary topics is worth it: It means finally feeling comfortable and happy in your skin. You can’t deny that you have experienced moments of self doubt in your life. If you are lucky enough to say you haven’t, you’re either an extremely rare case or you’re just not being honest with yourself.

     

    Wholehearted Living

     

    Wholehearted living is described as living your life from the standpoint of worthiness. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of belonging. You are enough. The qualities of one who is living wholeheartedly are courage, compassion and connection. Courage is telling the story of who you really are as a person. Compassion means being kind to yourself, because this is necessarily before you can be compassionate with others. And connection is about letting go of who you think you should be and being who you are in order to truly connect with others. This is the recipe for wholehearted living.

     

    Shame and Vulnerability

     

    Brown tells us that there are two important aspects to explore on the road to wholehearted living: shame and vulnerability. These two things can often go hand and hand. At the core of shame is vulnerability.

     

    Brown explains that guilt and shame are not the same thing. Guilt is a positive feeling that motivates us and keeps us in check when it comes to our actions and their effect on the world. We feel guilty when we make a mistake and hurt someone. Shame, on the other hand, is the belief that we are the mistake. We are the bad thing, rather than the action we committed. You can imagine how detrimental this can be to wholehearted living. Instead of accepting that we are humans who make mistakes and fail as a natural part of being, we constantly beat ourselves up for our perceived failures. We are our own cruelest critics, telling ourselves not only that we have failed, but that it is because we aren’t good enough.

     

    While vulnerability is the seed of shame, it is also the seed of creativity, joy, belonging and love. Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is absolutely essential to wholehearted living. Vulnerability is risk-taking, exposure and uncertainty. It’s knowing that you might not do it well, do it right or do it at all, but you have to try. This may sound terrifying to most people. It’s not easy to be vulnerable, and we tend to associate being vulnerable with being weak. Vulnerability is not weakness. To be vulnerable is to have courage. It is scary, but only through accepting it as a part of our life can we have a chance at wholehearted living. Imagine being able to live your life without allowing concerns about what others think of you rule what you do and how you present yourself to the world. I bet it sounds freeing.

     

    How to Live Wholeheartedly

     

    Brown gives us four tidbits of advice for attaining wholehearted living. The first is to let yourself be seen for who truly are, vulnerability and all. The second is to love with your whole heart. This means putting yourself at risk for rejection and heartache. The third is to practice gratitude and joy, meaning that in the darkest moments when you are paralyzed by fear of your own vulnerability, you stop and give thanks for living your life so fully. Feeling that fear means that you are really living and not just hiding behind your fears.

     

    And the final piece of advice that she shares is to believe that you are enough. With this final piece, you will approach yourself and the world in a kinder and gentler way. This is the way of wholehearted living.

     

    Author Bio: Gabriela D. Acosta serves as the community manager for the MSW@USC, one of the most innovative and dynamic social work graduate programs online. She is passionate about social justice, mental health research, and leadership development. Connect with her on Twitter @Gabyacosta101

    Image Credit: Stefano Mortellaro

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Positive Psychology Blog | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on Brené Brown on Vulnerability and Shame

  2. The Bright Side of Life

    April 28, 2013

    positive thinking

    by Jamie Arnold

    Whenever events and circumstances make us unhappy, we usually ask ourselves questions like

    –          What is the reality of the situation?

    –          What should my attitude to it be?

    –          What should I do about it?

    There is not much in the way of wise counsel, be it religious, philosophical or psychological, that does not in some way address these basic questions.

    The Monty Python film “Life of Brian” pokes fun at the whole matter by ending with a crucifixion scene in which the song “Always Look at the Bright Side of Life” is sung. Originally written for the film, this song is now a virtual folk anthem, glaring irony and all. It’s an ode to the extremes to which we humans will go to view life with a tall order of stiff upper lip topped off with Polyanna’s rose-colored glasses.

    Shadow and Light

    What’s the alternative to forced, seemingly unfounded, optimism in the face of unhappy emotions and experiences? Psychotherapy and psychiatry are readily available to help us with what ails us mentally and emotionally so that we can gain perspective, heal if necessary, and go on with life. Engaging in psychotherapy does not require a simplistic optimism that belies the darker realities of a situation; it encourages us to explore these shadows in more depth.  On the other hand, some branches of psychology have emerged in reaction to what they see as a singular emphasis on negative human conditions in their field. Humanistic psychology and positive psychology focus a little more on the bright side, so to speak. Rather than dismissing Polyanna, a psychologist studying positive psychology would be interested in her core attitudes and coping mechanisms to see if they have the potential to make the rest of us healthier and happier.

    Positive thinking is one of the central ideas of the so-called New Age movement in America and elsewhere. It also permeates Buddhist thought and, probably, the commonsense attitudes of many of our ancestors who somehow survived to pass on life to those who thrive today. Despite the need to understand and address what seems like negative realities, our mental health really does appear to benefit if we get into the habit of putting a positive spin on our lot and especially on the future.

    Give Yourself the Gift of Positive Thinking

    Neuroscience has entered an exciting era in which brain imaging is being used to identify what the brain looks when we feel joy, hope and other positive emotions. By scanning to identify which areas of the brain are more active when we feel upbeat and optimistic, neuroscientists can even devise ways to train and exercise those areas of the brain to become activated more readily. They can also identify areas most associated with depression and other psychiatric imbalances and likewise create more accurate ways to lessen the effect of those types of brain activity.

    This is exciting news for everyone alive today. Our generation is blessed with the knowledge and the proof that it’s possible to change our thoughts and attitudes for the better, and that, most of all, it’s beneficial for us in the long run to do so. The catchphrase for this phenomenon is brain plasticity, which refers to the fact that we can train and improve our brains just as we can our bodies. All it takes is the right set of methods and exercises.

    A Healthier, Happier You

    What are some of the benefits of cultivating positivity and optimism? According to experts at the world-renowned Mayo clinic, you’re more likely to live longer with a higher quality of life, experience less depression, enjoy a stronger immune system, experience less heart disease and better manage stressful situations. Whether optimism is a cause or effect of living a healthier lifestyle, there is a relationship. Positive people tend to be more physically active and eat healthier foods while engaging in fewer addictive behaviors.

    If you don’t feel that you have the positive mental attitude that would bring you these benefits, try some simple exercises and do them regularly just as you might start a physical exercise routine. Maintain your motivation by detaching from any expectations for a while. If you expect to feel better overnight and it doesn’t happen, don’t let yourself become discouraged; just keep going. Develop positive affirmations that you can apply to your life, or borrow some generic sayings from religious or self-help sources and repeat them until their simplicity begins to win you over. There is a piece of traditional folk wisdom that suggests, “If you’re not happy, fake it and it will eventually feel real.” This is absolutely true. The brain begins to remold itself to reflect a more positive outlook. Enduring happiness may not be as simple as that, but research suggests this approach is on the right path!

    Your positive inner coach should focus on simple phrases that deal with a better future, forgiveness, gratitude and other humble concerns. The capacity to believe that even bad situations and feelings will turn out for the best is a powerful antidote to life’s ills. Holding on to anger and disappointment have the capacity to poison us, so stop counting your wounds and affirm your forgiveness of others. Likewise, make simple statements of gratitude for the people, experiences, and opportunities that benefit your life.

    Are you ignoring negative realities by practicing positive thinking? Perhaps you are; or you may be avoiding putting a negative spin on a more benign reality. Each situation and each person is different, but adopting a positive attitude can absolutely help you feel happier in the long run. Just give it a try – it’ll work wonders in your life.

     Image Credit: Wagner Cesar Munhoz

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Motivational, Positive Psychology Blog | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on The Bright Side of Life

  3. Celebrating Stress Awareness Month by Mastering the Art of Positive Thinking

    April 24, 2013

    Positive thinking

    Image Credit: Wagner Cesar Munhoz

    by Melissa Page

    April 1 marks the beginning of the National Stress Awareness Month, which was designated since April 1992. What better time to engage in stress-relieving steps for a happier and healthier life than today?

    Articles on managing, if not relieving, stress has gained a great deal of attention in the recent years. From what we’ve heard and read, positive thinking (aside from relaxation and coping techniques) has proven to be helpful in decreasing a person’s stress levels.

    What is positive thinking?

    Positive thinking is an attitude that makes you face life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It doesn’t necessarily mean ignoring the bad ones; instead, its about approaching stressful events in a more positive light.

    You may have heard the question Is the glass half empty, or half full? a hundred times. It may sound ordinary, but your answer to that question actually illustrates your general outlook in life.

    If you answer the second option, you’re on the right track. Why?

    Benefits of thinking positively

    According to the Mayo Clinic, positive thinking is more than just a stress buster – it eventually leads to a drastic improvement of one’s health. Researchers have found that a person who thinks positively is most likely to have an increased lifespan, decreased depression rate, greater resistance to the common cold, better psychological well-being, reduction of death through cardiovascular disease, and better coping skills.

    Ways to promote positive thinking

    1. Avoid negative self talk.

    Does your inner voice focus on negative thoughts? Do you mentally tell yourself you’re no good? Try to take a moment to stop and assess what you tell yourself.

    If your thoughts center on negative ideas, turn that negative self-talk to positive self-talk instead. Replace your negative statements with milder wording. For instance, instead of saying “hate,” say “don’t like.” Sounds less negative, right?

    2. Develop a list of affirmations.

    Do you think your life is a mess and you are a failure? To overcome this negative feeling, developing a list of affirmations may help. Positive affirmations help you reprogram your thinking and gives you positive attitudes and thoughts to promote self confidence.

    Affirmations such as “I finish my job with ease” or “I see challenges as an opportunity to grow” are good examples. List them down and read them to yourself at least twice a day!

    3. Surround yourself with positive people.

    As the adage goes, “Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.” More often than not, the people we mingle and stay close to have influence on us. How your friends react will eventually be the way you react as well.

    It helps to be with people who think positively. When you are together, you get to learn and follow their type of thinking in response to different situations. If you stay with negative-minded people, your habit of negative self-talk will be difficult to change.

    4. Smile and laugh often.

    A real, genuine smile can help change how you see things in life. Although it can be really difficult, it is important to stay open to laughter, humor, and lightness. Sometimes, when you see potential humor in a situation, you tend to reduce stress and lighten your mood.

    So next time you’re under a cloud, try watching something funny online or read a joke you always crack up to. Smiling and laughing helps you psychologically and physically, too!

    5. Cultivate optimism.

    Even if you are an optimist since birth, positive thinking needs effort. Staying optimistic is like strengthening a muscle –  the more you use it, the stronger it will become. When you start to engage in negative thinking, don’t hesitate to ask help and encouragement from friends and family.

    Are you now ready to enjoy greater happiness, health benefits and well being? Start thinking positive!

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Motivational | Tags: ,,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on Celebrating Stress Awareness Month by Mastering the Art of Positive Thinking

  4. Happiness – It’s More than Just a Trend

    April 21, 2013

    Golden girl

    Image Credit: Marcos Vasconcelos

    by Brittany Young

    Everywhere you look, there are stories promoting yoga, meditation, and self-care to eliminate negative thoughts and stress and lead you to happiness. There are movies, books, and international movements all designed to provide the answers on how to find happiness. Even the United Nations has declared March 20, 2013 as the first-ever International Day of Happiness. But this emotion common to human nature isn’t so much a trend as it is a primary goal for people all over the world. Whether they want a change in career, an increase in personal investment to family and friends, or to take a leap of faith to travel more, individuals around the globe seek this feeling and are willing to do what it takes to get there.

    As we partake in these extreme efforts to discover our personal happiness, questions naturally arise: Is happiness innate or this emotion something that can be found? How do we get there? And once we are there, how do we preserve it? I do not claim to have the answers, but here are some things that have helped me in my pursuit of happiness.

    MINDFULNESS

    At the roots of happiness comes mindfulness. Simply being aware of our situations can be eye opening. Specifically, in our increasingly competitive society, we may fall victim to criticism and judgment, both of which carry negative emotion and may inhibit happiness. Simply take notice of what you judge and ask yourself why you judge it. Is this judgment toward other individuals or toward yourself? Awareness alone about ourselves, people, and situations is critical to our climb in happiness. Being mindful of our thoughts allows us to accept current situations.

    ACCEPTANCE

    Feelings and emotions come on naturally, and in stressful situations they may be hard to ignore. A basic example of this would be if you accidentally burn your tongue while sipping your morning coffee. You probably aren’t going to be very happy after that. That little fuzzy feeling on your tongue can be upsetting when it inhibits your ability to taste the buttery croissant and sweet blueberries to follow. Rather than get upset, consider it a reminder for the next time you find yourself in the same situation. Today, your taste buds may be altered, but is it worth the emotion? Most likely your own stressful situation causing you negative feelings is going to be bigger than a burnt tongue, but the bottom line is that you have control over how you react. Do you want to feed negative energy and self judgment for a simple accident? Acceptance and patience with a situation, thought, or feeling empowers you to make the choice!

    PERSPECTIVE

    Shifting our perspective in order to see how a current problem or situation is not as big of a deal as we think is helpful as well. In the context of life, and in the grand scheme of things, how does your present situation fit in? If you have stress or negativity surrounding this situation, is it worth it? If it is worth the stress of negative emotions, this is totally acceptable. Simply being aware and putting whatever it is you are going through in perspective may help you realize how you may or may not be acquiring the happiness you deserve.

    PURSUIT OF OUR PASSIONS

    Once we are aware of what drives us and makes us happy, the pursuit of our passions comes in. Perhaps you love sports. Get involved at a local gym, running club, cycling team, or attend a weekly yoga class. If your heart feels melodious when you dance, sing, or play an instrument, take a music class or hit that piano. Love family, friends, or travel? Identify your passion and pursue it. Do not waste your time on things that do not make you happy or move you towards your ultimate goal—life is too short.

    PRESERVATION

    Happiness. The beauty of acquiring this emotion is that every person is different. There is no right or wrong way to create it, and there is no exact science behind how each individual attains it. It truly is his or her prerogative. By practicing mindfulness and acceptance, shifting our perspective, and pursuing our passions, we learn how to preserve our own happiness. Circumstances constantly change, and monitoring our thoughts and actions moment to moment may help us maximize those positive feelings. However, I think the true secret to preserving happiness is: once you’ve found it, share it with everyone around you.

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Love and Spirituality, Positive Psychology Blog | Tags: ,,,,,,, | Comments Off on Happiness – It’s More than Just a Trend

  5. The #1 Necessity For A Satisfied Life

    April 19, 2013

    Field of Life

    Image Credit: Paul Esson

    by Don Sturgill

    Sigmund Freud’s pioneering work in psychoanalysis was based on the idea that human beings are primarily motivated by the desire for pleasure.

    Freud’s contemporary, Alfred Adler, argued that pleasure isn’t the root of motivation at all—power is what we really seek.

    Then came the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps and a perspective born from the depths of adversity: Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, said Viktor Frankl, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.

    The one thing necessary

    Our most important need, argued Frankl, is not to please ourselves or to rule over others, but to uncover the true meaning of life—to know why we live and what we should do. And the path to discovering that meaning is to listen to what life is asking of us.

    Both pleasure and power lose their grip when one discovers a “reason why.”

    To his Nazi captors, Viktor Frankl was known only as Prisoner #119104. To those who suffered with him in the concentration camps, though, he was a steady source of encouragement and a reassuring voice of wisdom.

    Many of Frankl’s fellow prisoners harbored bitterness and hatred against those who had imprisoned them for the “crime” of being Jews. But Viktor Frankl decided early on to keep his mind off the daily struggles of his untenable situation. Rather, Frankl endeavored to treat his plight as an “interesting psycho-scientific experiment.”

    He determined to view himself, not as an unfortunate victim of circumstance, but as a doctor with a front-row seat to events most people would only hear about after the fact. He was a participant in something incredible and significant.

    How to tell when someone will soon be dead

    “Why is it,” Frankl asked himself, “that one person perseveres and makes it through—despite the indignation and brutality—when a stronger and younger person may not?”

    By observing his fellow prisoners closely, he discovered how to predict who would be the next to die. None of the men were the picture of physical wellness; they all lived hungry and tired—yet there was one thing that distinguished those who would die from those who would live. Frankl saw a common factor emerge in the mindset of the doomed: They abandoned hope and gave in to despair.

    The will to meaning

    In Man’s Search for Meaning, the book he later wrote to chronicle his experiences in the concentration camps, Frankl made a poignant pronouncement:

    In the final analysis, everything can be taken from us—everything—but for one thing … we always retain the right to choose what we think about what is happening. We can never be forced to relinquish the most precious possession of all—our own mental attitude.

    The person who is able to find meaning in life—the person who sees obstacles as an inevitable part of life rather than as an end to life—is able to transcend even the most difficult circumstance to find a reason to go on living.

    Agreeing with an earlier maxim of Fredrich Nietzsche, Frankl wrote, “Those who have a why to live, can bear with almost any how.”

    An attitude of survival

    The original (German) title of Man’s Search For Meaning was Trotzdem ja zum Leben sagen, or “Still say Yes to Life.” When we say “Yes” to life, in spite of what life brings, we affirm that life is worth living, and we affirm that—in the end—the meaning of life trumps the tragedy of life.

    To lose hope is to deny meaning. It is to say the opposite—that life is not worth living—and, according to Frankl’s observations, those who maintain that line of thought are treading a sure path to an early death.

    What about you and me? Are we strong enough to reach down and hold on to the best of life, even during those black times when the worst of life is our portion?

    Trouble comes to all. Struggles come to all. It is our response, rather than the situation, that determines both our present and our future.

    By holding on to meaning, Frankl found a way to benefit from the unthinkable, to make sweet wine from sour grapes and to grow stronger through adversity.

    What is your “Reason why”? What is your “Yes” to life?

    If we don’t know and remember our answers to those questions, we may be hard-pressed to keep going when life seems cruel and unfair.

    And it will. For all of us.

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Motivational, Positive Psychology Blog, Search For Meaning Blog | Tags: ,,,,,,, | Comments Off on The #1 Necessity For A Satisfied Life

  6. How Education Contributes To Quality Of Life

    April 17, 2013

    high education

    Image Credit: Ralph Daily

    by Diksha Singh

    How does one define ‘quality of life’? Generally, it is an indication of the well-being enjoyed within a society and its people. Sometimes, the term is equated with ‘standard of living’. However, the standard of living is measured in terms of employment and status while quality of life is measured in terms of education, human rights, recreation, mental health, physical heal and other factors.

    Education tops the list. Why?

    Education is not about learning alphabet, abacus and science. It’s not about academia, it goes beyond pedagogy. It is a tool, a resourceful tool that teaches us to be ‘humans’. It is our forever valid passport to the world. A good education may give you a job but intrinsic education teaches you about creating a quality of life, teaches you to create opportunities and engage in self-development.

    How Education Improves our Quality of Life?

    Makes us resourceful.

    When we are resourceful, we have better problem solving skills and these skills help us immensely when we leave the cocooned world of parental tutelage and academic learning.

    Makes us trans-cultural.

    Education is not restricted to any culture and neither does education changes with different culture. Education means knowledge and it is universal. It teaches us to be appreciative of varied cultures, enrich our own culture and enlighten our minds. Education improves our tolerance level and makes us trans-cultural. It tells us that every culture has the right to survive and live in this world; one should be open minded and not narrow minded.

    Education gives us survival.

    The moot point of economic survival in this world rests on money. Education equips up to earn money when we leave academic learning and begin the real journey of life. The chances of someone getting hired and promoted is more with an educated person and not with an uneducated one. After recession, an educated person has a higher chance of getting employed again than the uneducated counterpart.

    Of course, to argue, you can say that Bill Gates is a college dropout and look where he is today. I would say that education is not limited to degrees and rote learning, never. Bill Gates used knowledge, resourcefulness and survival skills endowed via education to reach top position.

    For Healthy  Lifestyle.

    In a global scenario plagued with health problems, certain researches suggest that people who have graduate and post graduate education are less likely to suffer from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. While the scientific basis of this claim is not yet proven, medical people believe in this. A better health means an improvement in the quality of life.

    It Enlightens us.

    One of the basic facets of measuring quality of life is knowledge and humans gain knowledge via education. Knowledge is enlightening and thus, education plays a prime role in this enlightenment. Knowledge begets knowledge. There is no end to self-improvement. A knowledgeable person is revered and respected. Knowledge is universal and omnipotent.

    Education trumps all! It is a significant contributor towards improving our quality of life.

    For a child, education begins from home and then continues in a school setting. The academic years in the life of any child is formative and should never be compromised. More than academic learning, education teaches the child to observe, understand and comprehend. It teaches to act sanely, makes the learner resourceful, helps to develop skills and learn more about the thing called ‘life’ so that when the child grows up, he/she uses the education to build a better quality of life.

    Category Motivational | Tags: ,,,,, | Comments Off on How Education Contributes To Quality Of Life

  7. Beyond 100: What We Can Learn from People Who Pass the Century Mark

    April 15, 2013

    Beyond 100: What We Can Learn from People who Pass the Century Mark
    Source: Beyond 100: What We Can Learn from People who Pass the Century Mark

    Category Motivational | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on Beyond 100: What We Can Learn from People Who Pass the Century Mark

  8. The Science of Getting Drunk

    April 2, 2013

    The Science of Getting Drunk
    Source:bestcollegesonline.org

    Category Health Tips, Motivational | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on The Science of Getting Drunk

  9. How discipline can change your life

    April 1, 2013

    marathon runners

    Image Credit: Marcos Vasconcelos

    by Lima Curtis

    Runners have a saying: “No one ever says, ‘Wow, I regret that run,’” but the same sentiment can be applied to every action in your life.

    It’s human nature that we are always trying to better ourselves, whether it is reading more, going to bed earlier, or simply drinking less coffee.  However, each of these decisions requires a certain amount of discipline, which if we lack, means we don’t do what we set out to do, and end up feeling guilty.

    But how can we introduce more discipline in our lives?

    Join forces. If you want to improve your mind or body, chances are there is someone you know who has the same goals as you. So if you want to be better read, create a book club, invite your friends and colleagues and have fun. It’s a great way to socialise and to discipline yourself to read more.

    It could be you want to improve your yoga technique, if you promise a friend you will practise with them, you will learn to discipline yourself to keep going. As well as looking forward to seeing your friend, with their encouragement you will see yourself getting better before you know it.

    But not with the wrong people! If, for example,  you are trying to give up smoking, this requires a huge amount of will power, so don’t hang around people who smoke! As your self-discipline improves you will be able to put yourself back into situations you previously felt you had no control in, but whilst you are starting out it’s easiest to cut all ties with situations or triggers that weaken your resolve.

    Write your targets down. It may remind you of being back in the classroom, but a tick chart can really help. Write down your goals across the top of your paper, eg drink three cups of green tea and the days of the week down the side. Then tick the days if you achieve your goal. Seeing your actions on paper can give you the discipline you need to achieve your goal/s.

    Self actualise. Of course it is easier to sit on the sofa eating cereal than trying to gather the motivation to run around the park, but if you take five minutes to close your eyes and visualise your goal, you will find yourself lacing your trainers before you know it.

    Sometimes taking time out to think about what you want to gain, rather than what you have to do to gain it, can encourage you to discipline yourself to do it.

    Go public. Like the tick chart, telling people what you are doing, or what you are trying to achieve is a great way of making your goal more tangible. If you are aiming to run a 10k for charity, then no doubt you will have told lots of people what you are doing and why.

    If you feel like you might be letting someone else down, rather than just yourself, you will be more encouraged to work at your goal and discipline yourself to complete the task in hand.

    Small steps. It would be absolutely incredible if you were to give up smoking, learn a new language and complete a half marathon overnight. But these are all things that can be achieved in a year.

    One of the best ways to develop and implement your self-discipline is to take small achievable steps. For example, for the first week swap one coffee for green tea, the second week continue, but do 20 sit ups every morning.

    The euphoria you get from feeling healthier, but also knowing you are achieving your goals should be more than enough to encourage you to continue on your new disciplined self.

    Category Health Tips, Motivational | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on How discipline can change your life

  10. Positive Thinking? Three Steps To Adopting “Positive Mindset”

    March 28, 2013

    positive thinking

    Image Credit: Junn Kang Too

    Recently, Positive Thinking has become a fashionable and much debated topic in our society. Like any new concept, the positive mindset remains a largely misunderstood idea and sometimes it is being practiced in the wrong way. For example, many people think that having a positive mindset means everything will be okay if they ignore their problems or pretend they do not exist.

    Such thinking is frivolous. Some introspection is required to truly understand and have a positive mindset; one must explore the concept in more depth. I’ve challenged myself to do so, and have come up with the three most important aspects of a positive mindset. These three points are fundamental to applying the concept in a realistic, practical way. We can go further and say, if you absorb these three points and apply them every day, you will benefit from significant improvements in your life.

    So, please read on and consider deeply these three points:

    1. Positive thinking is about taking responsibility for your own life

    A fundamental step to adopting the right kind of positive mindset is the decision to take responsibility for your own life. You must accept that everything that is happening in your life is because of your past actions or inaction. You must stop blaming other people and external circumstances. You, and only you, are responsible for any failures in your life.
    Only you can change your own attitudes and feelings, and then can you handle other people and outside circumstances in a reasonable manner. For example, let’s say it’s raining outside, and that has put you in a bad temper. Your bad mood makes you unproductive at work and argumentative at home.  And all for what? You can’t stop the rain, but you can change your mood. That would be a positive mindset. Do you see what I’m getting at?
    You, and only you, are responsible for your life. Therefore, if you want to achieve something, you must make it happen yourself, nobody else will do it for you. Once you take responsibility for yourself, then you can change your life and start to achieve your goals. However, if you think everything is the responsibility of other people, then you are powerless, and you will never achieve anything.

    Take some paper and write down all the things that you love in your life.

    Now take responsibility for them.

    Well done. You have achieved Point One. You can be proud that you have accepted this responsibility. You are not expecting others to do it. It is YOU, who has gathered together your courage and taken that first decisive step. The good news is that now you have done this, you have control of the situation, and you can start improving it.

    2. Decide what you want

    You have now taken charge of your life and you accept that you are responsible for all your successes and failures. Good. The next step is to decide exactly what you want to do with your life. Positive thinking is mostly about really wanting to achieve your goals and desires, despite everything and everyone around you. If you come up against a difficulty or a problem, don’t just stop and stare at it. You must find a way to overcome it. You can only do that if you know what you want and why you want it. That is why we have Point Two; it is important to decide what you want.
    Stop thinking about what you don’t like and think about what you do like. Concentrate and look deep inside yourself. What are your biggest and deepest desires? Write them down. Say them out loud. Imagine them. Feel them. Visualize them! You see, you do know what you want, and I am sure that immediately you are feeling better for knowing this.
    Sadly, most people surrounding you probably do not know what they want, while they are very good at knowing what you should not want. However, your plans and objectives are none of their business. We are talking about your security, not theirs. These people are obstacles in your path to be ignored, overcome or simply gone around. Stay focused on your goals, and you will surmount all obstacles!

    3. Imagine that you already have it

    At the beginning you might have been sceptical about visualizing your desires. Now is the time to change your mind. Imagine that you already have what you want. Visualize it. The subconscious mind is very powerful! Your subconscious will start thinking about how to achieve that goal, without you realising it.

    In fact, your subconscious mind has always worked for you; you have just never realised it until now. Positive thinking is simply a method for getting in touch with, and using your subconscious mind.
    The more often you imagine that you have achieved your goals, the closer you will come to actually achieving them. Visualization is a tool that successful people use all the time to achieve their goals. If you want to join them, start doing it now!
    If you have read and understood everything written here, then you will have stopped blaming others for a less than perfect situation. By “others” we mean your boss, colleagues, secretary, the opposite sex, government, and the whole world. Now you understand that positive thinking is not an escape from problems. Nor does it mean you can ignore those problems. Instead, it means acceptance and goal-seeking. However, a word of warning – always be realistic in assessing your situation, because positive thinking does not guarantee that everything will be rosy.

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Motivational, Positive Psychology Blog | Tags: ,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on Positive Thinking? Three Steps To Adopting “Positive Mindset”

Older Entries
Newer Entries