1. What Makes People Flourish?

    March 27, 2014

    What Makes People Flourish?

    by Daniela Aneis

    Since the appearance of Positive Psychology at the end of last century, the concept of flourishing has been a central one. Like flowers blossom on Spring and everything starts coming to life after the cold Winter, how can people flourish in their lives and achieve greater levels of positivity and personal growth? And so Positive Psychology sets out to answer: What makes people flourish?

    What is flourishing?

    According to positive psychology authors and researchers, the concept of flourishing has to do with reaching optimal human functioning. We all humans carry within ourselves great potential which is mostly locked inside us and we can’t always reach it. Through self-improvement methods and the search for the fulfillment of our potential, most of us do unlock our talents and reach a life of flourishing. So if you’re thinking you don’t have it in you to flourish, think again. Luckily we all do.

    How can one flourish?

    It’s basically an individual process, but researcher and “father” of the Positive Psychology movement, Martin Seligman published in his most recent book Flourishing (2011), a theoretical approach to achieving well-being and life satisfaction through a process of flourishing.

    His PERMA model is based on five central states that one can achieve (actually the presence of 2 or more is enough to create greater well-being levels):

    • Positive Emotions
    • Engagement
    • Relationships
    • Meaning
    • Accomplishment

    Positive emotions play a key role in your lives as they are essential in our sense of well-being and our ability to be with others and even expand our minds and the way we think, see and feel. Engagement has to do with Csikszentmihalyi’s (1975) concept of flow. Flow refers to a state of full absorption in the task at hand where time and space seem to disappear and the task represents intrinsically motivation – we do it simply because we enjoy it. We can see many flow experiences in creative people like writers and painters who spent entire days performing their work in a solitude experience and even forget to eat!

    Positive interpersonal relationships are undeniably crucial to our well-being. It starts with our first attachment relationship with our mothers and it goes on for the rest of our lives (family, friends, spouses, and children). We are social beings and it is the quality of our relationships that help us perceive life as full and meaningful. Meaning which is another component of well-being, is obtained through the use of our signature strengths and talents in the service of something greater than ourselves (being a volunteer for instance).  Finally, Accomplishment – reaching one’s goals – enhances our motivation and self-efficacy feeling, propelling us to engage in more and challenging projects.

    So, in practice, how can you flourish?

    A few simple steps to start your flourishing process:

    • Find your talents. What are you really good at? And we all have different talents! If you don’t know what you’re really good at, it’s time to try new things until you figure it out!
    • Practice Mindfulness. Create a sense of aware towards yourself and what’s around you. Live in the present. Have you spent 2 minutes to observe that Spring is finally here again?
    • Cultivate positive and meaningful relationships in your life. Yes, again and again, friends and family are what makes this ride through life seem easier and more enjoyable.
    • Try to do something that you really enjoy. In a perfect world we would all be working in something we’re truly passionate about, something that would make work feel like a God’s gift. Unfortunately, if your 9-5 job isn’t like that, you may one consider another activity in your life that makes you feel like that.
    • Fulfill some of your dreams and projects. What is a life without dreams? Without hope?
    • Lead a meaningful life. This is actually a result of all of the above. Leading a life towards meaning is believing you’re a part of something greater, that your smaller actions are a mechanism of something greater than yourself and we all play a role in it.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/vaneversion/8643805338/


  2. Balance Your Life with Ayurveda And The Doshas

    March 24, 2014

    Ayurveda

    by Jacqueline De Burca

    A Guide To The Tridosha Concept

    For over 5000 years, the Ayurvedic system has offered a body of wisdom to help people to achieve balance and vitality, whilst realising their full potential. Practitioners of the ancient holistic system of Ayurvedic medicine view each human as an individual and diagnosis is carried out using all of the five senses. Ayurveda considers that the physical and mental aspects, as well as the personality combine to make a unit, of which all aspects can influence the others. Treatment can include the use of herbs, yoga, nutrition, panchakarma cleansing, Vedic astrology and acupressure massage.

    Native to the subcontinent of India, this traditional medicine system’s name Ayurveda is derived from the Sanskrit word ?yurveda, which means life-knowledge. There are texts on Ayurveda which date back to as early as the 3rd or 4th century B.C. However today in India the word is used to cover a range of traditional medicine, which means that there are numerous branches of Ayurveda now. Historically the system has enumerated the bodily substances into a framework of the five great elements (earth, water, fire, air and aether) which also interact with the seven tissues (blood, plasma, flesh, bone, marrow, adipose and reproductive).

    In Hinduism it is believed that humans and all of creation are made up of these five elements, which dissolve back into nature upon death, balancing nature’s cycle. However whilst living humans are affected by the five elements and Ayurveda aims to balance the three elemental substances, known as doshas. Known as the tridosha concept, tt is believed that each human being is a unique combination of the doshas, which defines their character and temperament. Every human has a natural systems state, which is a natural combination of the doshas. In Ayurveda is it believed that humans can achieve balance by seeking more of the element/s that they lack, which can be done through care of their habits, environment and behaviour.

    The three doshas are:

    Vata      – air and space = wind

    Pitta      – fire and water = bile

    Kapha    – water and earth = phlegm

    These fundamental energies affect both our inner and outer environment, plus they govern structure, movement and transformation. Upon diagnosis an Ayurvedic practitioner provides guidelines to be applied on a daily and seasonal basis. These include specific seasonal and daily routines, proper use of our senses, diet and behaviour. Ayurveda teaches that health is a result of a finely tuned integration between our spirit, body, mind and environment.

    Vata

    If Vata is the predominant dosha a person tends to be light, thin, energetic and enthusiastic. Vata types can be visionaries, with wonderful imaginations but they can also get spaced out. On the positive side Vata has an abundance of creative energy, but needs to watch out for feeling uptight and anxious. Although Vata may have artistic talent, the mind can sometimes be restless. This can lead to over analysis and theorising. They can also have a tendency for over-indulgence in some of life’s pleasures.

    Vata is required to mobilise the functioning of the nervous system, so this is why when there is too much Vata – an imbalance of Vata, that the person may tire easily due to over thinking, anxiety and worry. It also affects flatulence, windy humour, rheumatism and gout.

    To Balance Vata

    • Create a routine
    • Listen to relaxing music
    • Meditate if possible twice every day to calm your mind
    • Your environment should have more earth tones and mild pastel shades
    • Before going to bed, try to minimise watching TV, eating or heavy reading
    • Oil your skin

     

    To Avoid Excess Vata

    • Avoid exposure to the cold
    • Don’t eat too much dry, leftover or frozen food, or food that is bitter or astringent
    • Avoid too much exercise
    • Avoid suppressing your natural urges
    • Don’t travel too much

    Pitta

    Those who have more of the Pitta dosha are often confident leaders. Their physique tends to be moderately strong, and they seem to walk with a sense of purpose. When they speak the voice is often strong, or even loud, and their speech is convincing. They are enthusiastic for knowledge, have a leaning towards being very focused and can have a razor sharp mind. Even when relatively balanced they can seem argumentative, but it is mixed with a sense of humour. However an excess of Pitta can make them irritable, fiery and snappy. Those with Pitta as the prevalent dosha can be organised perfectionists.

    The energy principle of Pitta is to use the bile to direct digestion and metabolism. As heat is its main quality, those with Pitta can suffer from overheating, skin irritations, ulcers and heartburn.

    To Balance Pitta

    • Spend time in cooling environments
    • Do gentle exercise that doesn’t overheat you
    • Try to learn to go with the flow
    • Eat cooling foods, cucumbers are excellent as are many vegetables and fruit
    • Avoid oily foods
    • Take deep breaths frequently, or do breathing exercies
    • Do yoga asanas which are gentle

    To Avoid Excess Pitta

    • Don’t overexposure yourself to heat
    • Avoid too much intellectual thinking
    • Avoid alcohol
    • Be careful of too much anger, fear or hate
    • Do not exercise in the middle of the day
    • Avoid antibiotics and ideally all drugs

    Kapha

    Kapha tends to have a broader frame and long limbs. They are compassionate and caring, often speaking in a slow, rhythmic manner. They are stable, patient people who don’t tend towards anger too easily – however if they are driven far enough then they don’t calm down very easily. Essentially full of love, loyal and kind-hearted, the Kapha is the dosha which is prone to gain weight easily. They take longer to learn but when they do the memory is strong. Also it may take then a while to reach a conclusion, but they make excellent logical analysts.

    If there is an excess of Kapha then the person may feel lethargic and over-indulgent. As phlegm is the controlling body fluid, Kapha types are prone to excess weight, congestion and a sluggish digestion.

    To Balance Kapha

    • Walk for around 15 minutes after eating to aid digestion
    • Be attentive to your food while eating, in other words be mindful
    • Trigger your natural energy by going to a yoga class
    • Breath deeply or do breathing exercises
    • Do an invigorating daily self massage

    To Avoid Excess Kapha

    • Avoid eating too much meat, dairy, fried food, salt and sweets
    • Don’t use sedatives or tranquilizers
    • Avoid exposure to the cold
    • Avoid doing little or nothing
    • Don’t drink too much water
    • Be careful about focusing too much on possessiveness, greed and doubts

    To get the best out of Ayurveda, you should go to a qualified practitioner and then follow through on the recommendations based on your current balance of doshas. However, if you are curious, you can first try some quick online quizzes to find your balance:

    http://doshaquiz.chopra.com/

    http://www.pukkaherbs.com/Ayurveda/dosha-quiz

    Image Credit: marketing-deluxe.at


  3. The Power of Positive Emotions

    March 23, 2014

    The Power of Positive Emotions

    by Daniela Aneis

    We all know the experience of positive emotions make us feel good with ourselves and others. But could they have another function other than just that? Evolutionary speaking, what are positive emotions for?

    Up until recently, research has been extensive on the so-called negative emotions and their role in evolution. It is posited that negative emotions were key in survival, where the “fight or flight” mechanism was crucial to our species endurance. The stress induced when facing a large animal where a decision had to be made if it dangerous or “potential food”, made our ancestors react, propelling them to action.

     

     But what about positive emotions? What good are they for?

     

    In 1998, researcher Barbara Fredrickson proposed the Broaden-and-built model of positive emotions. Feeling that research wasn’t paying enough attention to the role of positive emotions in human life, she set out to find out why we need positive emotions as much as the negative ones. She suggested that positive emotions broaden our scope of action-thinking and have a major role in physical, cognitive and social resources.

    Mainly, positive emotions are essential resources in resilience, serving as reserves to help us cope with adversity and promote health and well-being. Her research suggests that the more positive emotions people experience throughout their day and their lives, the faster they can react when faced with negative emotions.

    One of her most fascinating discoveries has to do with the fact that positive emotions can counteract the effects of negative ones. Meaning that the prolonged effects of negative emotions on cardiovascular diseases and cancer, for instance, can be counteracted with the experience of positive emotions. So if you lead an extremely stressful life, you might want to consider balancing the odds in your everyday life by introducing space for positive emotions.

     

    Are people who experience positive emotions at a greater level different from the rest of us?

     

    Not quite. People who experience positive emotions at a great level tend to pay a great deal of attention to positive emotions, and their reserves of positive emotions function as an upward spiral of positivity (Fredrickson, 2001). Consciously or unconsciously, positive emotions seekers tend to find positive emotions even in neutral situations and view the negative ones as part of a necessary personal growth (Diener & Biwas-Diener, 2008).

     

    Are people who experience more positive emotions happier?

     

    In his 2002 book Authentic Happiness, the “father” of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman states that happiness (or well-being is now the correct term to use) can be achieved through:

    • The seeking of pleasure;
    • The seeking of engagement activities;
    • The search for meaning in life.

    In a research done in 2005, researchers Peterson, Park and Seligman set out to answer what makes a full life so different from the empty life? Mainly they were interested in knowing whether the experience of positive emotions through pleasure, engagement or meaning contributed to a sense of greater well-being and life satisfaction and if those 3 experiences were any different between themselves. They found evidence that all 3 types of positive experiences where key in building up a sense of general well-being and higher levels of life satisfaction. However the 3 types of experiences seemed to have no difference between themselves.

    Nonetheless, the authors still state that a life of eudemonia – the search for personal improvement and fulfillment – versus a life of hedonism – a constant seek for pleasure may result in a more enduring happiness. The idea that a life based on the search for meaning entails a happier life finds resonance in Viktor Frankl’s Logotherapy theory, where the key to leading a full life is a meaningful one.

     

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/70194213@N00/7161763179


  4. Psychological footprints: What are you leaving behind?

    March 20, 2014

    Psychological footprints: What are you leaving behind?

    by Daniela Aneis

     

    Dinosaurs have lived millions of years ago often leaving nothing but their fossilized footprints behind. What if you could also leave a psychological footprint behind? The term psychological footprint used by Whitbourne and Whitbourne (2014) refers to the positive or negative influence you have on others and how that affects their lives and the environment around you. We’ve all had the nature vs. nurture discussion in our lives at some point: is it nurture that defines me or is it nature? But what about your influence in nature and nurture? Your influence in what’s around you? How to measure that?

    Leaving something of yourself behind.

    You may not see it or even realize it, but you have an impact on your environment. Just by existing at this time and place, you’re changing what’s around you. Let’s try a difficult exercise. Can you imagine what it would be like for everyone you’ve ever met if you had never existed? What would they be missing out? Though one to think through? Don’t worry, that’s just our egocentrism at work. We just can’t imagine a world where we wouldn’t exist! Let’s try an easier one: have you ever asked a close friend what have they learned from you? What has meeting you made them different? Ask and be surprised with the answers. Usually in life it’s the little things that leave great impressions.

    What psychological footprints do you have on yourself?

    Think about all the people that have inspired and touched your life. Parents, grandparents, your first teacher, your neighbors, your minister, your childhood friends… Ever tried writing them a thank you letter for all the precious moments you’ve had with them? This a powerful exercise that Martin Seligman (the father of Positive Psychology) often does in his classes. At the end of each semester he promotes a little get together between students and the receivers of the letters, where the letters are read out loud and it’s not unusual for tears of joy to run. It’s a very powerful tool in therapy as well specially in grief counselling.

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  5. Jung and Frankl on the Meaning of Life

    March 17, 2014

    Carl Jung and Viktor Frankl on the Meaning of Life

    by Karen Fernandes

    It is widely agreed among psychologists that a sense of meaning and ‘purpose’ is critical to a healthy psyche. Without a framework to give our lives purpose, we can find ourselves falling into an existential depression (often itself the catalyst for a mid-life crisis) or drifting aimlessly with no sense of direction and no interest anything life has to offer.

    Unfortunately, applying meaning to a seemingly random and chaotic universe is not easy for us, and many of the big concepts are really beyond any chance of human comprehension. We don’t know where we came from (even though we might have beliefs on the matter), we don’t know why we were put here – we don’t even know if there will be any lasting consequences of our actions on Earth. As far as we’re aware we came from nothing and will return there when it’s over.

    So where then does this crucial sense of purpose come from? How does it form in a healthy mind? How does someone decide what they believe and how they should spend their time in light of so little information and so much mystery? These are questions that many thinkers have attempted to answer with mixed results. Here we are going to examine the views of two key contributors: Carl Jung and Viktor Frankl, which demonstrate how this process of finding meaning fits into the complex puzzle of the human mind.

    Jung’s Theories of Individuation

    Individuation is a widely used term that essentially describes the psychological process of becoming ‘an individual’. Often this transformation is said to occur during the adolescent years and early-adulthood; when a young person will ‘try out’ different personalities and ways of life to see which fit them best. Most of us can remember a ‘gothic’ or ‘preppy’ phase in adolescence (probably while cringing) and will likely have moved between friendship groups and ideals as we gradually started to learn about ourselves and develop a concrete identity (parents of teenagers will likely be all-too familiar with this period of development). If all goes well though, the individual should come out of the process with a stable personality (even if their beliefs and interests change) and a sense of ‘who they are’ and what their role is in society.

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  6. Persona – How We Present Our “Self” To The World

    March 15, 2014

    Persona – How We Present Our “Self” To The World

    Carl Jung, a psychologist and advocate of positive psychology, often made reference to the concept of “persona” – the social face a person presented to the outside world.  He went on to describe the persona as a type of “mask” with a dual purpose – to make a definite impression on others and to conceal the person’s true nature.  So, just how does the concept of “persona” affect the interactions with have with others?  First, let’s talk about identification.

     

    Identification, according to Jung, generally occurs when we align ourselves with a particular persona or role.  For example, we take on the role of mother, father, doctor, lawyer, friend, sister, etc.  There are an infinite number of roles any one person can “play”, but any one person is likely to only identify with a set number of roles.  Jung believed that adherence to a particular role could actually be psychologically limiting.  These limitations usually occur based on society’s perception of how the said role is supposed to be filled.  A doctor is supposed to fulfill a certain “role” in society; many people struggle to identify with the doctor outside of his or her healing role.  A mother is supposed to be a caretaker, a father is supposed to be a provider – when we confine ourselves to these “boxes”, so to speak, we limit ourselves in a variety of different ways.

     

    Let’s talk about those “boxes” for a minute.  “Boxes” are generally societal-based constructions designed to help us (and others) define the roles a person plays.  It gives meaning, direction and rules to those “personas” we adopt.  However, many times, those rules can be limiting or even in direct contrast to the life philosophy we believe it.  Here is where problems can arise – how do we adopt a certain persona and play by the rules without offending others in society?  Walking that fine line can be a complex task for many individuals.

     

    What should a person do if he finds his life philosophy in contrast to his “persona”?  First, examine your life persona and determine what exactly is in contrast; write it down and make a list, if necessary.  Rank those elements in order of importance and establish whether or not adjustments can be made either way.  If minor adjustments to either your life philosophy or your persona can be made and will result in higher life satisfaction, your problem is solved.  If major adjustments need to be made to either, you have a bigger dilemma on your hands.  You will need to decide if making a major adjustment to your life philosophy or persona is something you want or even can do.  For example, some “personas” have very rigid “rules” attached to them; it may be impossible to change that without adopting a completely new persona.  Only you can truly decide if a new life direction is the right choice for you.

     

    One thing to think about, and one important concept in Jung’s theory of the persona is balance.  In order for life to be fulfilling, there must be a balance between the inner desires of a person and his or her outer reflection.  This does not mean the inner desires should always be expressed no matter what; rather, a person needs to, at times, proceed with caution and express those desires in a socially acceptable way.  For example, many people feel anger on a daily basis – anger is a natural emotion, felt by everyone.  However, the expression of anger is not always socially acceptable – depending on the environment or the means of expression.  Finding that delicate balance between feeling and expression helps ensure an equalized lifestyle.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rufino_uribe/377643866

     


  7. Seven Habits of Happy People – Focusing on Exercise

    March 6, 2014

    Seven Habits of Happy People – Focusing on Exercise

    by Michelle Blessing

     

    (This article is a follow up to “7 Habits of Happy People“)

     

    We all know exercise benefits us in the physical sense – it improves our health and extends our life expectancy.  But many people don’t realize the benefits exercise has for your mental well-being; exercise improves brain function, improves mood and decreases the incidence of depression.  Still not convinced about the benefits exercise can have on your happiness and well-being?  Read on…..

     

    Many research studies have been published regarding the connection between exercise and happiness.  Most of the studies have discussed the link between improved mood and happiness with exercising.  Although the link is not definitive (some studies state that people who are happier are more inclined to exercise), there is proof that being active and exercising can and does improve your mood.  Some researchers have cited the release of endorphins during exercise as causing the improvement in mood, while others believe challenging the mind and body creates a feeling of satisfaction that leads to increased mood and happiness.

     

    However, as discussed in the post regarding caring, it can be difficult to find the time (and the energy) to exercise on a regular basis.  Take it from someone one who has been there – I was notorious for finding every excuse in the book not to exercise.  Here are some examples of my excuses – the dishes need to be done, my favorite show is on TV, I feel guilty spending time away from my kids….on and on the list went.  I wasn’t exercising, and clearly, my mood reflected that.  I soon discovered that in order to be the best version of myself, I needed to make the time to take care of myself.

     

    Exercise is and should be an important part of your everyday life.  Exercise has the ability to teach you things about yourself – what fulfills you and what you’re capable of.  The art of practicing some form of exercise, whether it is aerobics, walking or yoga, allows you to get in touch with your body – and your mind.  The key to success – and happiness- with exercise is not choosing something easy; it is important, however, to choose something you enjoy and something that will challenge you.

     

    Exercise and becoming physically active is the first step in achieving some level of happiness.  But there is truth in the idea of challenging yourself to accomplish goals or master something.  It doesn’t matter what exercise you choose; the important component is to find your niche, settle in and work towards whatever it is you want to accomplish.  Happiness will be the icing on that piece of cake.

     

    For me, yoga is what fulfills me.  It’s not just about the breathing or the stretching, the poses or the meditation; it’s about challenging my body to reach its potential.  With every class I take, I try harder, I get stronger – and I find a deeper sense of happiness and satisfaction.  For others, running is their passion; they find inner peace in pounding the pavement and pushing their body to the limit.  It doesn’t matter what you choose, but you need to make a commitment.  Make a commitment to exercise at least a few times per week.  Start slow (and always check with your physician before starting a new exercise regimen); 20 minutes of exercise, 2 or 3 times a week is a good place to begin.  With each exercise session, push yourself (within your limits) to progress towards your goals.  Most importantly, focus on how the exercise makes you feel both physically and mentally.  Appreciate how the activity impacts your body and your mind.  When you are exercising, try to focus on only that; let other thoughts (about the kids, bills or dinner) leave your mind; instead, keep the concentration on your body and mind, especially reflecting on what you are capable of.  By appreciating your body and your mind for what it can do, you not only push yourself on the path to happiness and positivity, you might even inspire others to do the same.

     

    Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/jazz_defo/3529977647

     


  8. 7 Habits of Happy People – Focusing on Caring

    March 4, 2014

    Seven Habits of Happy People – Focusing on Caring

    by Michelle Blessing

     

    (This article is a follow up to “7 Habits of Happy People“)

     

    The idea that caring for others leads to happiness is common sense to most people; in fact, research shows that caring for others leads to better relationships and lower levels of depression.  However, in our fast-paced, modern world, it can be difficult to find the time to care of ourselves, let alone care for others.  However, finding that inner peace that leads to happiness is important for both your mental and physical well-being.  And caring for others can be as simple or as complex as you decide to make it – from simply helping a friend, family member or stranger in need to making a standing date to volunteer at a hospital or shelter.  Whatever you decide, know that you are making an important decision – not just for you, but for others as well.

     

    Unsure where to start?  You aren’t alone; many people really aren’t sure how to get started when it comes to showing others how much they care.  Although kind words can go a long way, research demonstrates that being an active participant in caring for others leads to higher levels of life satisfaction and happiness.  Even as little as once a week can help you reap the benefits of volunteering and caring.  And even simple acts of kindness can have huge benefits for your life.

     

    For example, simply holding the door and smiling at the person behind you at the grocery store can boost your happiness levels for the day.  And when your happiness levels are boosted, you are likely to carry those good feelings with you throughout the day, leading to more acts of kindness – this creates a “happiness cycle” that can help you achieve higher intensities of life satisfaction.  If smiling at a random stranger has the ability to raise your happiness levels, imagine what volunteering on a regular basis can do for you.

     

    Research shows, however, that passively volunteering does not have the same impact as actively volunteering.  Passive volunteering means going to the shelter but not engaging with the residents; you simply go in the hopes you will experience some of the happiness and satisfaction that people talk about.  However, it doesn’t work and it can actually lead to lower levels of life satisfaction and depression.  When you actively participate in the volunteer experience, you learn not only about what you are capable of, but what others are capable of giving to you as well.  And I’m not talking about tangible rewards; no, this is much more powerful than that.

     

    When you open up to caring for others, you open up a world of possibility for yourself.  You allow people to see what you are made of – your thoughts, your feelings and your life intentions.  And that’s just the beginning – when you open yourself up to others, you learn about how other people experience (or don’t experience) happiness.  The results of this back and forth relationship can be powerful – and life changing.

     

    So take a chance and make a change; make more of an effort to care for others.  If you aren’t sure how to start, start small.  Smile at a stranger; it just might make his or her day.  Slow down and take the time to appreciate what others have to offer to the world.  Remember that everyone has potential, and you just never know how another person can impact your life – or you can impact him or her.  When you’re ready, take the next step – volunteer your time with others, especially those less fortunate than yourself.  Spending time with others, listening to them and making an effort to understand them can all lead to renewed energy and direction in life.  And sometimes that change in direction is all you need to take you on the path to happiness.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dragnfly78/389961836/

     


  9. The Burn-Out Syndrome: the Consequences and Tolls of an Unbalanced Life

    February 22, 2014

    The Burn-Out Syndrome and Unbalanced Life

    Ever heard of the Burn-out syndrome? It’s a very common set of symptoms that derives mostly from extreme dedication to work or others, especially in health and social related professions like doctors, nurses, social workers and therapists. It seems that the more devoted you are to your work, the more it costs you. Find out more about this heavy-burden syndrome and its tolls on people’s lives.

    Am I burned-out? Here are some of the signs:

    1. Long hours of work. Do you work more than you should? Do you feel guilty when you leave work and go home thinking about work? Can’t stop and disconnect the work button in your head? Can’t remember when was the last time you went out to dinner or had friends over?
    2. Unhealthy habits. Have you quit doing exercise? Do you sleep 3-4 hours a night? Are you abusing alcohol or prescription drugs to stay awake and alert? Do you often skip meals and take more than 3 cups of coffee a day?
    3. Irregular behavior. Do people around you complain about your mood swings? Are you constantly irritated about everything and everyone? Do you often yell at people for no reason? Or can’t stand to be around people? Do you feel like you’re taking it out on your family, your kids?
    4. Psychological symptoms. Are you experiencing anxiety attacks? Feeling too stressed to even think straight? Can’t sleep or have too many dreams? Have migraines? Lost sexual thrive? Do you cry for no reason or because people around you don’t understand your obsession about work?
    5. A general feeling of being overwhelmed. Feeling like there’s too much to do and so little time? And do you have the idea you’re the only that can get the job right?
    6. Feeling like your life is empty and devoid of purpose.  Can’t enjoy the work you loved so much anymore? Can’t feel pleasure about anything in your life? Does it annoy you to be around friends and family? Are you contemplating suicide to end your misery?

    You might be experiencing a burn-out syndrome. Ultimately, pursuing life like this will make you end up in a hospital or worse. But there’s still time to regain your life back and live it in a balanced way.

    Why did this happen?

    There are several reasons why people experience burn-out syndrome and it’s not just because of work. It might also be because you’re taking care of a sick and dependent loved one and don’t take enough good care of yourself. But here are some of the most common reasons:

    1. Probably because you’re a great professional and extremely devoted to your work. Which is no excuse to have no life outside work!
    2. You take too much care of everyone else around you. Are you the one everyone leans on? Are you the one everyone calls and you always go to the rescue? When do you let others take care of you?
    3. You think you have super-powers. And you can do anything – work, take care of your family, be there for friends, clean your house, do community work, you name it. My question is: can you do all of these things right? Or are you just mending things?

    What happens if I keep on going?

    These are just some of the examples of what might happen, if you do not become aware of what the burn-out syndrome is doing to you and your family.

    –          Divorce

    –          Substance abuse

    –          Alienation from your children (You’ll be the parent that forgets to pick up your kids or to even phone them on their birthday)

    –          Loneliness (You’ll have no time for your friends or to make new ones)

    –          Develop serious physical illnesses (too much stress causes real physical illnesses and your immune system is down so “opportunistic  virus” can attack you)

    –          High suicide risk (your life seems to have no purpose or meaning and you might start to wonder why you’re even here)

    What can I do to stop it?

    1. Seek professional help. That’s my first advice. It’s really hard to quit life habits you’ve probably have had for years and you might need some medication at first.
    2. Take care of yourself first. You can’t be there for others if you’re not feeling so great about yourself. And also, let others take care of you once in a while.
    3. Divide your day in 3. Some monks believe that in order to live a balanced life you should have 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work and 8 hours of leisure. Seems impossible?
    4. Learn to say no. Is it too much? Just say no. The world won’t fall apart if you leave some work for tomorrow.
    5. Have healthy habits. Like doing sport at least 2 times a week, eating all daily meals and being around friends.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alyssafilmmaker/4029064544