1. Having A Mental Illness and Being Positive?

    August 22, 2013

     mental illness - positive thinking

    I hate “think positive” websites because most of them have no clue what it feels to have a mental illness. They give you this overly sweet message – just change this and that and you will be happy and achieve nirvana… Yet, I like Jeff’s blog – the message here is “bitter-sweet”, it doesn’t feel “fake positive” if you know what I mean…  Here, I decided to focus on the positive in my life, so let’s give it a shot:

    1. Finding out who your true friends are. Nothing makes people run away faster than the mention of a mental illness. At the beginning everyone sticks around but as time progresses the number gets smaller and smaller until your real friends are left.

    2. Finding out what your truly capable of. I never knew how much inner strength or will power I truly had until I became sick. After going to your absolute bottom and somehow finding the strength to still fight you find out who you truly are at the core level.

    3. Finding out what is important. At one point I had the middle class dream of a nice paycheck and a house with a white picket fence. After the depression tornado took everything away I learned the only thing that really matters are the people in your life for they can never be replaced.

    4. The ability to start over. After the mental illness beast has finally left your world you are awarded a second chance of choosing on what kind of life you want to live a luxury the “normal” people cannot pull off very easily.

    5. The power of knowing. For a very long time I seem to be wandering around in the dark with no visible purpose in my life and I could never figure out why. When the day came and the realization that I was mentally ill a boulder was lifted off of my shoulder for now I had an answer and knew exactly what I had to do to fix it. The purpose of my life is simple and that is to enjoy life as we only get one crack at it.

    To be completely honest here I am rather amazed that I was able to think of five reasons to be positive and I am sure there is a lot more, but the meds are working a little bit too well tonight so my brain appears to be running in slow motion.

     

    Andrew R.

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  2. 5 Simple Ways to Improve Your Mental Outlook

    August 20, 2013

    Improve Your Mental Outlook
    When we think of ways to improve our overall wellness we tend to think of big projects that tackle big issues head on. That kind of thinking is far to often a symptom of the problem, not a path to a cure. A healthy physical and mental outlook is based on a landscape we exist in, not a destination to achieve. I’ve come up with a short list of simple activities you can add to your routine that, over time, will alleviate stress and tension and help you build wells of positive mental and physical energy to rely on.

    Do Something With Your Own Hands

    For most of us hand eye coordination and dexterity are useful only in the context of operating our digital devices: computers, tablets, mobiles. Your hands aren’t made just for accessing more data and downloading your brain into an overheated frenzy. When is the last time you shaped wet clay, carved a piece of wood, kneaded dough? The interplay between hands and mind that only occurs from doing small jobs like this satisfies your mind and relaxes your body. Whether it’s making a birdhouse, preparing a meal to share, or just giving a tired friend a thorough back rub you will gain mental energy by performing simple tasks with your hands.

    Do Low Impact Exercise

    Our culture is geared to celebrate high impact exercise. TV Infomercials compete against each other to claim their program is harder, sweatier, and more extreme. Sometimes training for a marathon or getting buff is just what you want and need, but these high impact programs can be extremely stressful and require imposing aggressive forms of self discipline to complete. They are a great way to get ripped, but not always a great way to become more relaxed and happy. Take a slow, relaxing evening walk, or slow bike ride on a quiet road. If you have a place to swim find time to just splash around a little. No laps, no grind, no constant focus on goals and improvement. You’ll be surprised at how much improvement you get from less stressful forms of exercise, and the relaxation you gain will in turn help make you physically more fit.

    Perform Manual Labor

    Most of us spend our lives trying to find ways to eliminate manual labor from the equation. The problem is, sometimes we are too successful and we cut ourselves off from any form of work that isn’t intellectually focused. Working with your mind is great, but frequently involves long processes with difficult to measure results. When is the last time you cut your own grass, or picked up trash from a public space, or planted a garden? You don’t need to break your back, just find something simple that fits into your time schedule and work at it. Unlike massive work projects that can bog you down for months without verifiable results when you mow a lawn or weed a garden you have the immediate satisfaction of seeing a job well done. This can be a great way to build positive relationships too: do you know any elderly people who could use help maintaining their yard? A space that could be improved for local children to play in? And besides, who would turn down a basket of fresh picked vegetables from your garden?

    Play a Musical Instrument

    Before the invention of TV and Radio almost everyone in the US and Europe played a musical instrument for entertainment. We have gotten away from that, and now rely on unsatisfying time filler activities instead. There are parts of your mind and spirit that are atrophying away when you don’t express them, and actually making music, however simply, is a world apart from passively listening. You can buy beginners instruments fairly cheaply, and free lessons are available all over the net. Pick up a guitar, or recorder, or small bongo drum and dedicate some time into learning the basics. You will get to the point of playing along with favorite songs before you know it, and you will find that you always feel a little happier and more positive after a half hour of making music.

    Write Something

    Writing is one of the most popular forms of personal expression there is. There are lot’s of free blogger sites on the web, pick one and open a blog. Write in it at least weekly. Here’s the catch: most people will tell you writing is all about expressing yourself, or releasing inner thoughts and feelings, and you should just write whatever you want and let the muse take you where it will. That may help you and if you enjoy this please continue in your way. I recommend a little different approach though. Write with a little self discipline. Make sure that everything you write has enough of a plan to include two basic things: a format where you have a clear beginning, middle and end is one. A simple message, or point you are making is the other. Using this approach will force you to do one simple thing every time you write: organize your thoughts. Organizing your thoughts is difficult, and it takes practice, and the goal of writing like this often is to give you that practice. If you think of the people you know who are the calmest, happiest individuals who exude a sense of peace around them they will all tend to have very organized thoughts. No jumbled up nervous tension from them, just simplicity and peace. Using writing to practice this mental sorting and indexing of thoughts will give you a tool you can use to build an island of mental peace around yourself at all times.

    Image Credit: Mark Sebastian – www.flickr.com/photos/markjsebastian/4686167305

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  3. Five Inspirational People We Can Learn From

    August 18, 2013

    by Ewan Mochrie

    Most of us live humdrum lives without a real shot at the big time, but this doesn’t mean that we can’t aspire to make a difference. In fact, all of us have aspirations… This post presents five incredible human beings who fought against the odds to stamp the world with their legacy. Quietly conquering the globe in their own unique ways, we want to take a look at five truly inspirational people who can teach us all something.

    JK Rowling

    JK RowlingJK Rowling shot to fame as the unassuming face behind the mighty Harry Potter dynasty. Rowling once faced nothing more than a broken marriage and empty bank account. Confronted with the prospect of single motherhood and a lifetime of regret, this indomitable author instead took to her battered old typewriter and began punching out the story of the century. The book was turned down left and right before one publisher took a chance…and the rest is history.

    Chris Gardner

    Chris_GardnerChris Gardner takes us from children’s fiction to the chasing of an American Dream. Canonised by Will Smith in the recent biopic The Pursuit of Happyness (no, not a typo), this incredible man went from rags to riches by pure grit and hard work. Gardner slept rough with his child in an underground station and presented himself each day at the office, training industriously to be a stockbroker. He always wore a suit and somehow kept his child fed and clothed in nursery each morning until one day his luck turned and the ceaseless hard work paid off. He now leads as CEO of Christopher Gardner International Holdings.

    Jessica Cox

    jessica coxJessica Cox is not your household name. She gives talks around the world on persistence in the face of adversity. Jessica is the Guinness World Record holder for being the very first individual on earth to qualify as a pilot…with no arms. Jessica is determined to overcome any obstacles with positive attitude and positive thinking and has never let her disability get in the way of her dreams, leading her to be seen as a shining light in the fight for the rights and opportunities for disabled people in our society. This girl has a degree, flies aircraft, drives cars, and plays piano… just like many others. The only difference is that she is doing all this with her feet. She also gives a great after-dinner speech.

    Malala Yousafzi

    Malala-Yousafzai

    Malala Yousafzi is only fifteen and she has already been called one of the future leaders of global unity. After the Pakistani schoolgirl was shot in the head by Taliban activists for challenging those in power, she survived and came back even stronger. Her reply to the rise of gender-based violence and terror was one of awe-inspiring defiance. ‘I want every girl, every child to be educated’ resonated across the world’s media and we certainly hope that she will continue fighting for women’s rights and equality in Islamic world and will have successful career in world politics.

    Nelson Mandela

    Nelson-MandelaIt may be a cliche but no list can truly be complete without homage to Nelson Mandela. We can all learn something from the iconic leader’s gentle resilience and unceasing devotion to end the apartheid. He spent almost thirty years in jail for political rebellion and arose from mire to become South Africa’s first black President and to win a Nobel Peace Prize. His smiling image is well known all over the world and his refusal to condemn those who took away his freedom makes him a legend of inspiration across the globe.

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  4. Insomnia and depression? Some Weird Ways Insomnia Can Help You.

    June 25, 2013

    Insomnia and depression

    by Ryan Lawrence

    A frustrating problem that plagues millions of Americans, insomnia has become a widespread issue. In fact, sleep deprivation affects so many people, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have named it a public health epidemic. At its worst, insomnia promotes fatigue, drowsiness and a myriad of health problems. That said, in certain instances, it can also offer some interesting benefits.

    Relief from Depression

    You might think that poor sleep would make people more depressed; however, numerous studies suggest otherwise. In fact, research has shown that sleep deprivation can actually alleviate symptoms of major depression, even causing suicidal people to forget their intentions at least for a while. Sadly, these effects appear to last only a few hours, making intentional sleep deprivation a poor option when it comes to treating chronic depression. That said, the odd relationship between sleep deprivation and mood has given scientists new insights on how and why we get depressed in the first place.

    Memory Enhancement

    Although insufficient sleep has been linked to memory difficulties; in one weird way, it can actually enhance our abilities to remember new information. Researchers out of the University of California, Riverside, recently found that people who take Ambien to combat insomnia find it easier to convert short-term memories into long-term ones. That said, according to sleep expert Dr. Donna Blair, in the end, the risks probably outweigh the benefits.

    “Insufficient sleep has been linked to short-term memory problems as well as an increased risk of dementia,” she said. “Sleep aids such as Ambien may have some noteworthy benefits; however, they also come with some pretty frightening side-effects. What’s more, they aren’t suited for people who owe their sleep difficulties to disorders such as sleep apnea, which causes breathing disruptions that make sufferers wake up gasping for breath.”

    The University of California researchers gave a similar assessment when reporting their study by clearly asserting that they do not recommend Ambien as a memory aid due to its many side-effects; however, the memory benefits appear to be there for traditional insomniacs who can tolerate the drug.

    Fear Suppression

    A noted researcher out of the Yale University School of Medicine found that sleep deprivation after a traumatic experience reduced the likelihood of posttraumatic stress disorder. While it’s not clear why this might occur, it could have something to do with memory issues linked with insufficient sleep. Whatever the relationship, the study was so compelling, the researchers suggest it may convince medical professionals to begin using sleep deprivation to treat serious cases of posttraumatic stress disorder.

    Only Slight Benefits

    While inadequate sleep may offer a few benefits; they don’t compare to the myriad of problems associated with sleep deprivation. Linked with serious diseases, such as cancer, dementia, cardiovascular disease and more, insufficient sleep can cause big problems when it persists for long periods of time. So, if you continuously suffer from sleep difficulties, make lifestyle changes that promote better sleep and seek treatment for any sort of disorder that may ultimately put you in harm’s way.

    Image Credit: Mark Sebastian

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  5. Boosting Fertility the Natural Way

    June 20, 2013

    Boosting Fertility

    Getting pregnant is a struggle for many couples. In fact, according to the Fertility Society of Australia, one in six Australian couples experiences problems with infertility. If infertility is a problem for you, you’re certainly not alone.

     

    When you first realise you’re experiencing fertility problems, the natural tendency is often to panic. The thought of having to undergo lots of invasive procedures and investigations is a daunting one. The fact is though; there are certain simple changes you can make to your lifestyle and environment that can provide a real boost to fertility – for both men and women.

     

    Natural Ways to Boosting Fertility – Lifestyle and Diet Changes

     

    Relax

    It’s easy to say it, but it’s true. We’ve all heard stories of couples who’ve been trying to conceive for months or years who find that it’s only when they take a break from their strict ovulation-centered routine that conception actually occurs. Research shows that the odds of pregnancy increase when stress is reduced. Light exercise, yoga, meditation: all of these can aid relaxation for both of you and in doing so can prepare your body for conception.

     

    Exercise

    There are lots of great reasons why both of you should exercise to increase fertility. For one thing, weight problems can be one of the major factors inhibiting fertility. Underweight women produce too little estrogen to fuel optimal ovulation whereas overweight women produce too much. A tailored exercise regime can address both of these problems. In a more general sense, exercise strengthens muscle, builds stamina and improves circulation; all of which are factors which can increase your prospects of conception as well as helping to grow healthy sperm.

     

    Positive Thinking

    We’ve all been told to “think positive” at some time or other. There are actually some pretty good scientific reasons why staying positive can aid conception. Worry and stress are essentially defense mechanisms; instigating the production of adrenaline and prolactin – hormones which provide us with the “fight or flight” impetus. Unfortunately such hormones are definitely not what we need when looking to conceive as these hormones inhibit the pregnancy hormone, progesterone. Positive thinking can be an incredibly effective weapon in combating infertility by aiding the reduction of stress hormone levels in the body.

     

    Quit Smoking

    Smoking can be a huge barrier to fertility. Not only has smoking been linked to poor conception rates and an increased risk of miscarriage, there is also a connection between smoking and poor sperm mobility in addition to distinct general fluctuations in male reproductive hormone levels.

     

    Limit Exposure to Environmental Toxins

    Traffic fume pollution, trace elements of mercury and other metal contaminants from sea food, chemical in detergents: there are many chemicals that can have a detrimental effect on reproductive health. Studies indicate that pesticides and herbicides sprayed on crops contain xenoestrogens that can cause damage to the female reproductive system. Choosing organic produce, avoiding BPA-containing plastic products and consuming filtered water are three practical steps you can take to help maintain a healthy reproductive system.

    Say “Yes” to healthy fats:

    Healthy omega-3 fats are an effective boost to fertility. Nuts, avocados and flax seeds are prime sources of omega-3. Butter from grass-fed cattle and eggs are high in arachidonic acid, which has also been shown to aid reproductive health.

    Include plenty of greens

    Dark green, leafy vegetables such as spinach, kale and broccoli are excellent sources of foliate, an important vitamin that’s vital for laying a strong foundation for conception. Greens are also rich sources of many vitamins, minerals and antioxidants vital for maintaining reproductive health.

     

    Get adequate vitamin D

    Vitamin D is a vitamin that behaves like a hormone. It is important for the production and secretion of many hormones in the body and helps to maintain a proper hormonal balance. Sensible, limited daily sun exposure without sunscreen helps your body produce enough vitamin D for the day. For light skin an exposure of 15 minutes is sufficient whereas for darker skin, a slightly longer exposure time may be beneficial. If you live somewhere that has long winter months and you have limited scope for exposure to sunlight, consider taking a vitamin D supplement after consulting with your healthcare provider.

     

    These tips can help to promote fertility naturally as well as promoting general good health. If you are actively trying for a child and are experiencing difficulties, you should also consult your physician and a fertility specialist.

     

    Author Bio: Al writes on sexual health and fertility issues in Australia and abroad.

    Image Credit: Mark Sebastian

     

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  6. Just what is bipolar disorder exactly?

    June 17, 2013

    living with bipolar disorder

    by: Tricia Chilcott

    What is bipolar disorder?

    What is bipolar disorder? Who gets it? What are the symptoms? What about medications? These
    are all important questions about bipolar disorder, and I’m going to try and answer them here.
    According to the National Institute of Mental Health, bipolar disorder is ‘ a brain disorder that
    causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day
    tasks. Symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They are different from the normal ups and
    downs that everyone goes through from time to time. Bipolar disorder symptoms can result in
    damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide’.

    Living with bipolar disorder

    I know from experience just how much havoc being bipolar can create in your life. Since I was
    diagnosed 8 years ago, I’ve had 4 hospital stays, with the first one lasting 6 weeks, and the most
    recent stay lasting 3 weeks. This has been a huge burden on my family, and problematic in my
    marriage as well. I made the decision to go off my meds back in December, and by February I
    had crashed hard, thus landing me back in the hospital. It was not a pretty sight in the slightest.
    Thanks to a good doctor and a wonderful husband, I’m back on my meds and doing fantastically.
    But what about medications for bipolar? There are a number of medications avaialble, and
    literally hundreds of ways they can be mixed together to try and find the perfect cocktail.
    Medications include mood stabilizers such as lithium, anticonvulsants such as Lamictal, atypical
    antipsychotics such as Abilify, and antidepressants such as Zoloft. One issue with medication
    management is that many people with bipolar disorder have comorbid conditions, making
    them need additional medications as well. For example, in addition to being bipolar, I also have
    ADHD, PTSD, and anxiety, so my cocktail consists of Concerta, Welbutrin, Abilify, Klonopin,
    Ambien, and Xanax. My psychiatrist is trying to convince me that I need Trileptal as well, but
    it’s a battle he’s not winning.

    Who gets bipolar disorder?

    So who gets bipolar disorder? It is estimated that approximately 2% of the general population
    has bipolar disorder whether diagnosed or not. According to the DSM-IV, there are actually
    4 variations of bipolar disorder, which include Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Bipolar-NOS, and
    cyclothymia. What do all of these mean? People with Bipolar I not only have the severe downs,
    but they have severe ups as well, or they have what’s called a mixed state, which includes
    features of both depressive and manic symptoms. People with Bipolar II don’t have the manic
    highs, instead they swing from very depressed to hypomanic. Bipolar-NOS are people who have
    symptoms, but don’t fall into either of the above two categories. And then cyclothemia is a mild
    form of bipolar disorder, one in which the person experiences highs and lows, but not the very
    low depressive states, and not the high manic states. You may also have genetic predisposition to bipolar disorder. It’s been recently discovered that that bipolar disorder, ADHD, and schizophrenia may all be linked to the same set of genes.

    You are in excellent company

    So what does this all mean for the bipolar patient? It can mean a lot of time spent with a doctor
    figuring out medications. It can mean a lot of frustration as medications are sorted out and
    therapy is started. But it also means you are in excellent company! You may feel alone in this battle, but many others have fought it and won. I’m sure you’ve heard of Abraham Lincoln, as well as Winston Churchill, and even Charles Dickens. Or perhaps you’ve heard of a lovely lady named Marilyn Monroe? Kurt Cobain? Or if you’re more current than that, how about Catherine Zeta-Jones? These creative geniuses all have or had bipolar disorder. Many bipolar patients are creative geniuses in their own right, but it comes with that hefty price tag of the extreme mood swings.

    Don’t give up!

    One thing many people living with bipolar disorder pride themselves on is having the ability
    to walk that fine line between insanity and brilliance. We may stumble and fall off that tight rope occasionally, but there is hope for us, and we are not alone in our fight with this. There is support available, there is treatment that works, and recovery is possible. I am living proof of
    this, as are many other successful bipolar people I know. So don’t give up! Don’t give in! The night is always darkest before the dawn, and when you’re in the pits of despair and want to give up, that is the darkest hour. But I promise you, the dawn will come, perhaps when you least expect it. You’ll find a medication that works, a treatment plan that is right for you, and you will see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I was in the pit of despair for a long time, but I pulled myself out of it with the help of medications and therapy. I know for a fact this can happen for others suffering from this disease as well. Keep the faith, and hold on tight to the knowledge that there is the right treatment plan for you, and you too can lead a productive life as well. Good luck, and God bless!

    Image Credit: Spencer Williams

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  7. How To Manage Stress During Your Job Search

    June 15, 2013

    Need to manage stress

    by Adrienne Erin

    If you’ve been looking for a job, you probably know that new opportunities don’t show up as quickly or as easily as you would like. There can be long stretches between jobs, when money and your happiness starts to run thin. When this happens, you can become frustrated and disappointed.

    No matter how long you’ve been looking for a new job, stress can enter in as part of the process at any time. Everything from customizing cover letters to waiting for a call from the hiring manager can cause major tension and anxiety. It’s important to cope with this stress, both for the sake of your sanity and for the success of your job search. Seeming desperate, depressed, or cynical can hurt your chances at scoring an interview or an invitation back.

    How do you manage stress when the phone doesn’t ring or there are no emails asking for an interview? Well, the good news is that although job hunting can be challenging, there are choices you can make to decrease stress.

    Get a Support Group

    Every stressful situation is handled more effectively when you have people around you who are supportive. Reaching out to your family and friends about how you’re feeling during your job hunt is a good way to relive stress and lessen the burden. These individuals can give you a boost of confidence right when you need it most and help keep you feeling motivated.

    If you don’t have a support group and you’re feeling uneasy with your job search, try joining an anxiety support group or a group for job searchers to help ease the tension. Being around others who are in similar situations will remind you that you’re not alone in your struggles. Plus, it can be great networking – most of you will not be in direct competition, and you may have contacts that could help your fellow members and vice versa.

    Don’t Overdo It

    Don’t apply for any and every job you find just because you’re feeling a little desperate. Take it easy and only apply for jobs you’re highly qualified for. Even if the bills are piling up or you’re fed up with your boss’s demands, applying for too many jobs will most likely result in a lot of rejection. It will also drain your energy and open the doors for stress to come into your life.

    Make Time for Relaxation

    Your job search should not consume your life and only take up a few hours of your day. Take time to relax and rest so you will be energized when you get back on the job-search grind. Have fun while you’re job searching by keeping an active social life with family and friends. You can also try to take on new, relaxing hobbies, such as organic gardening – this one is excellent to manage stress. It’s important to focus on positive thinking instead of looking at the downsides.

    When you are mentally relaxed, your job search will be more effective — and mentally relaxed candidates are more attractive candidates.

    Keep a Positive Attitude

    It can be hard to keep a positive attitude if you’ve lost your job or hate the one you do have, but you must have one in order to keep stress away. Your job search will be more useful if you remain focused and motivated throughout the process. If you don’t think you are worthy of being hired, this will be evident in your interview skills and affect your desire to look for work. Instead, put your best foot forward and focus on the positives. When you have confidence, it will show in your demeanor and transfer over to your job searching skills.

    Image Credit: Alec Couros

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  8. How to Create a Positive Action Mindset

    June 11, 2013

    positive thinking

    by Ryan Rivera

    It’s become an increasingly difficult world. People tend to focus on the negative side of living, and that negative thinking causes not only worsen their quality of life – it also translates to a lack of action. After all, if the world is seen as a negative place, what is the point of achievement and goal setting? What would be the benefit of working hard?

    Of course, this becomes a self-fulfilling issue. If you’re not taking action in your life, you’re not going to achieve anything, and the world really is going to be a more negative place (thus reinforcing your beliefs). If you really want to make very real life change, you need to be able to motivate yourself into not only a positive mindset, but a positive action mindset – a mindset that is actively working towards completing goals and making your life better.

    Combatting Years of Negative Thinking

    Of course, in some ways this is easier said than done. After all, it’s very hard for people to break their own thought habits. Those that are used to looking for the negatives are usually going to find them while blocking out all of the positive things. Regaining that positive mindset takes time and commitment.

    But there are some strategies that can help. Consider all of the following:

    • Fake Positivity

    Perhaps the best activity to try is faking positivity. Pretend that you are an actor in a play that has to pretend to be a completely and genuinely positive person. What would you do? How would you act?

    The human brain adapts to the mindsets you display outwardly. It’s the reason some actors end up becoming more like someone they played in a movie. The brain doesn’t understand why you’re acting the way you do, so it turns you into that person. Positive mindset pays off and faking positivity can really rub off over time.

    • Never Sit Down

    Remember that one of the things you’re trying to do is take action, not just become positive. When you have chores to do, goals to complete, or things you want done, you need to be able to give yourself the energy to take action. So do your best to avoid sitting still. Always be up and about doing something whenever you can, and if you have nothing to do or need to sit because your feet hurt, try your best to make sure you’re sitting with a purpose – like to complete your bill payments, do art, or otherwise be active.

    • Utilize Technology

    Technology is generally the enemy of action and positivity, often increasing anxiety and stress and decreasing action. But there are ways you can use technology to vastly improve your positivity, productivity, and energy. First, make sure that any time you are using technology – computer, TV, etc. – you’re using it for positive things, like watching humor shows on television (not dramas, reality, horror, etc.) and looking at things that improve your mood and your drive.

    But you can go further. Most people have a smartphone these days. You can schedule in reminders for positive thinking, alarms for taking action, and more. You can use your phone as something that constantly reminds you that you need to enjoy various activities, while programming it with the type of music that gives you energy and motivates you forward. Technology has its downsides, but you can use it in ways that improve your positivity overall.

    • Place Reminders Around Your Home

    Similarly, make it harder for yourself to sit and mope by placing reminders of what you should be doing around your home. Whether it’s post it notes with inspirational phrases or multiple copies of your “to do” list, performing this activity will keep you accountable to yourself, and that can go a long way towards making sure you don’t fall back into the negativity trap.

    Controlling Your Positivity

    Becoming that positive person you’ve always wanted to be is a process. It’s not something that’s going to magically occur overnight, and it’s something that requires a dedication to yourself and your advancements. But everyone can obtain this positive mindset if they’re willing to put in the work. Consider the above tips, and dedicate yourself to true positivity to see a real difference in your life contentment.

     

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  9. Denial in Addicts

    June 10, 2013

    denial in addicts

    by Shellee-Kim Gold

    Denial is a state of mind which blocks crucial parts of ourselves from being made aware and analyzed by our conscious processes.

    Although denial is a problem that affects the human condition the world over, denial in addicts is particularly troublesome.

    Denial defined: A defense mechanism

    Denial acts as a defence mechanism, designed to protect us emotionally.  It is the subconscious mind’s way of erecting a barrier to protect us so we don’t feel the pain of things as they are. As a result, we choose not to be honest with ourselves; and, consequently, with others, including those we love the most.

    Yet, we put ourselves through this because we believe we can perform better and keep functioning as normal in our daily lives.

    Don’t get it wrong; denial is not your friend. In fact, denial is your most lethal enemy. It is the number one way in which you can prevent your successful recovery from addiction, regardless of whether you’re already in recovery or have yet to get there.

    Types of denial and the tell-tale signs

    According to the American Psychiatric Association, the first step on the road to recovery is recognition, but the process is but is complicated by denial.

    There are several types and stages of denial that will come up during an addict’s journey to recovery. Making excuses to justify behaviour (to both yourself and others) and self-deception are the hallmarks of addiction denial.

    If you haven’t yet acknowledged you need help, you have likely used some of the following common patterns of denial:

    • You convince yourself you’re cured when you’ve done nothing or little to resolve your problems.
    • You tell yourself your problems aren’t your fault, and blame other people, such as your boss or partner. Thus, you are able to justify your problems and comes up with reasons why you don’t have to deal with them.
    • You constantly compare yourself to others whom you perceive as having worse problems than you. In that way you can convince yourself that you don’t have a ‘serious’ problem.
    • You mentally manipulate others, and feel triumphant when you’ve convinced them of your lies about your addiction; even though a part of you is screaming for help.

    Just because you’ve dealt with the preliminary forms of denial and may be in a treatment programme or are even post-treatment, don’t fall into the trap of becoming smug! Denial can insidiously sneak back into your life when you aren’t paying attention. Be extra vigilant and watch out for the following symptoms of denial and relapse:

    • Arrogance. Holding to the belief ‘it will never happen to me – again’ is an issue. Anyone can slip back into addiction at any time.
    • Even though the person you’re having a relationship with may not be an addict, negative aspects of this union result in you veering off-track from your recovery.
    • Allowing yourself to be sucked back into socializing with old using or boozing buddies. Choose your friends carefully.

    Helpful Tools

    Will power alone will not help in keeping you sober. Here are some tools you can use to stay clean:

    • Practice of daily self-awareness, which will have a positive influence on all other areas of your life.
    • Observe others.  If there are more than a couple of people in your life who share the same thoughts regarding you and your destructive patterns of behaviour, chances are they’re right. Use their perspective to see yourself through different eyes.
    • Keep connected to other recovering alcoholics and drug addicts; they provide essential support.

    Recognising and acknowledging denial is crucial to successfully managing and overcoming addiction. Denial’s opposite is acceptance. Before you can accept yourself, however, you need to understand who you are. Make that a priority and you may find that staying clean becomes that much simpler.

    Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessica_digiacomo/5311147795

    Category Health Tips, Mental Health | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on Denial in Addicts

  10. When you’re depressed: A lesson in self-forgiveness

    June 4, 2013

    stop self-blaming

    by Zita Weber, Ph.D.

    Too often, depression results from excessive self-criticisms.  When you’re feeling guilty, it’s easy to get too down on yourself.  Sometimes the guilt feelings are imaginary and even if they feel real, they can be overly intensified and make you feel worthless.    Getting away from this self-blaming approach is key to starting to feel better about yourself.

    Getting away from a self-blaming approach

    Learn to replace self-blame with a constructive and realistic attitude.  It’s always more empowering to look to the future and what you can do to improve your situation.  Don’t linger in the past.  Sometimes we hear what appear to be simplistic expressions such as:  ‘It’s all water under the bridge’ and ‘What’s done is done’.  Learn to embrace these expressions and take them seriously.  Make your peace with the past but resolve to do things in the present and the future that will make you feel better about yourself.  Learn from past mistakes, but don’t hold onto any blame.

    Learn to practice self-forgiveness

    Practicing self-forgiveness might sound challenging, but the devastating effects of not doing so are highlighted in a novel, Ironweed, which was made into a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep.  The main character, Francis Phelan, accidentally drops his infant son on the floor and the child dies of complications as a result of the injury.  Although this happened many years before the beginning of the novel, the tragic event is revealed through Francis’s nightmarish flashbacks.  Francis is restless, becomes a wanderer and an alcoholic.  While his wife is prepared to forgive him and have him back at home, Francis can’t forgive himself.  In not being able to forgive himself, he dooms himself to a hellish existence.  If only Francis could learn to forgive himself, he could reclaim his life.  The moral of the story is:  don’t be unforgiving of yourself.

    Begin practicing self-forgiveness by accepting that we all make mistakes and we all have times in our lives when we might feel down and depressed because we believe we haven’t met our own standards of behavior.  Learn from these challenges and make sure that you forgive yourself and move on to a more positive place.

    Keep a journal

    Keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings will help you tremendously when it comes to self-understanding – and self-forgiveness.  Don’t put pressure on yourself by keeping a daily journal if that doesn’t work for you – but make sure that you do write down the important thoughts and feelings that might lead to disorganized, chaotic and self-blaming ideas.

    It’s useful when keeping a journal to dialogue with yourself – ask yourself questions.  It might be difficult asking these questions of yourself, but remember – by asking yourself questions you are clarifying thoughts and feelings and adopting a more problem-solving stance.

    Asking questions – and answering them as honestly as possible – will empower you in your thinking, making matters clearer and imposing a kind of sense and order on them.

    For more skills and strategies in dealing with depression, see Losing the 21st Century Blues (http://zitaweber.com/new-releases/losing-the-21st-century-blues)

    Author Bio: Zita Weber, Ph.D. has worked as a counselor and therapist with individuals, couples and families.  She has researched and written about communication, relationships, sexuality, depression and loss and grief.  More information about her work and books can be found at:  http://zitaweber.com.

    Image Credit: Mark Sebastian

    Category Health Tips, Mental Health, Motivational, Positive Psychology Blog | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on When you’re depressed: A lesson in self-forgiveness

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