1. How to Create a Positive Action Mindset

    June 11, 2013

    positive thinking

    by Ryan Rivera

    It’s become an increasingly difficult world. People tend to focus on the negative side of living, and that negative thinking causes not only worsen their quality of life – it also translates to a lack of action. After all, if the world is seen as a negative place, what is the point of achievement and goal setting? What would be the benefit of working hard?

    Of course, this becomes a self-fulfilling issue. If you’re not taking action in your life, you’re not going to achieve anything, and the world really is going to be a more negative place (thus reinforcing your beliefs). If you really want to make very real life change, you need to be able to motivate yourself into not only a positive mindset, but a positive action mindset – a mindset that is actively working towards completing goals and making your life better.

    Combatting Years of Negative Thinking

    Of course, in some ways this is easier said than done. After all, it’s very hard for people to break their own thought habits. Those that are used to looking for the negatives are usually going to find them while blocking out all of the positive things. Regaining that positive mindset takes time and commitment.

    But there are some strategies that can help. Consider all of the following:

    • Fake Positivity

    Perhaps the best activity to try is faking positivity. Pretend that you are an actor in a play that has to pretend to be a completely and genuinely positive person. What would you do? How would you act?

    The human brain adapts to the mindsets you display outwardly. It’s the reason some actors end up becoming more like someone they played in a movie. The brain doesn’t understand why you’re acting the way you do, so it turns you into that person. Positive mindset pays off and faking positivity can really rub off over time.

    • Never Sit Down

    Remember that one of the things you’re trying to do is take action, not just become positive. When you have chores to do, goals to complete, or things you want done, you need to be able to give yourself the energy to take action. So do your best to avoid sitting still. Always be up and about doing something whenever you can, and if you have nothing to do or need to sit because your feet hurt, try your best to make sure you’re sitting with a purpose – like to complete your bill payments, do art, or otherwise be active.

    • Utilize Technology

    Technology is generally the enemy of action and positivity, often increasing anxiety and stress and decreasing action. But there are ways you can use technology to vastly improve your positivity, productivity, and energy. First, make sure that any time you are using technology – computer, TV, etc. – you’re using it for positive things, like watching humor shows on television (not dramas, reality, horror, etc.) and looking at things that improve your mood and your drive.

    But you can go further. Most people have a smartphone these days. You can schedule in reminders for positive thinking, alarms for taking action, and more. You can use your phone as something that constantly reminds you that you need to enjoy various activities, while programming it with the type of music that gives you energy and motivates you forward. Technology has its downsides, but you can use it in ways that improve your positivity overall.

    • Place Reminders Around Your Home

    Similarly, make it harder for yourself to sit and mope by placing reminders of what you should be doing around your home. Whether it’s post it notes with inspirational phrases or multiple copies of your “to do” list, performing this activity will keep you accountable to yourself, and that can go a long way towards making sure you don’t fall back into the negativity trap.

    Controlling Your Positivity

    Becoming that positive person you’ve always wanted to be is a process. It’s not something that’s going to magically occur overnight, and it’s something that requires a dedication to yourself and your advancements. But everyone can obtain this positive mindset if they’re willing to put in the work. Consider the above tips, and dedicate yourself to true positivity to see a real difference in your life contentment.

     

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  2. The Pursuit of Happiness: 3 Facts Science Can Teach You

    June 5, 2013

    pursuit of happiness

    by Susan Martin

    Is there science to happiness or, in other words, can science teach us how to be happy? We all want to be happy. While the pursuit of happiness is an essential element of human existence, alas we are not always so clear on the details.

    The self-help industry was born to fulfill this void, and it has produced copious amounts of information to answer these basic questions. Unfortunately, self-help books and DVDs are not always the most reliable source of information.

    Fortunately, the pursuit of happiness is not the sole domain of the self-help industry. Research is actively addressing questions like ‘what makes a person happy’ and ‘how a person can improve their emotional life and emotional well-being’. Research on this area has already produced several interesting findings.

    In this post I want to explore 3 interesting facts science can teach you about being happy.

    Gratitude makes you happy

    Count your blessings is one of the oldest advice offered by the self-help industry. Most of us are highly critical of ourselves and think negative thoughts about ourselves far more often than positive thoughts. Always being critical of yourself is obviously not great for your well-being.

    Gratitude is the antidote for negativity. The idea is to focus on things you appreciate about your life, and then to be grateful of those things.

    Research by Dr. Robert Emmons at the University of California shows that practicing gratitude indeed makes you happier [1]. The researchers asked the participants to either focus on: gratitude, life hassles or neutral things. 10 weeks later the researchers measured the effects.

    Not surprisingly, the group that focused on gratitude reported significantly better emotional well-being than the other two groups. The gratitude group also felt more connected to others and acted more socially (they were more likely to give aid when requested). What’s interesting is the gratitude group also exercised an hour more per week more than the other two groups (3 hours per week vs. 4 hours for the gratitude group).

    Gratitude does work!

    Good deeds are passed on

    Marketers have long understood the concept of reciprocity. When you receive something you are far more likely to give something back. That’s why companies like to ‘so generously’ give you trinkets and freebies – so you would buy their products and services.

    A study published at the Journal of experimental psychology shows that generosity is paid forward [2]. In the study the researchers wanted to see what happens when people cannot give back to the person who initially gave them something. That is, when person A gives something to person B, what will the person B do when he or she cannot reciprocate to the person A?

    The study found that both good and bad deeds are passed on. And unfortunately people were more likely to pass on greed and other bad deeds than good deeds.

    The lesson here is clear. Be kind to others, because your behavior is passed on. You could see yourself as emanating energy that people you come in contact with pass on to others. So make sure you put out positive energy to the world.

    Happiness is a circular motion

    As humans we are often terrible at predicting what makes us happy. For example, let’s say you have $100 extra cash at your disposal and your task is to spend it in a way that maximizes your happiness. What would you do? If you are like most people, you might pamper yourself with a massage or buy something you’ve wanted for some time.

    A study by Dr. Lara Aknin published at the Journal of happiness studies shows that’s exactly the wrong thing to do [3].

    In the study the participants were asked to recall a recent purchase they had made. One group was asked to recall the last time they spent money on themselves or on others. Spending on others, also called prosocial spending, could mean buying something as a gift or a charitable donation. The group that recalled prosocial spending felt significantly happier afterwards. What’s more, they were also more likely to spend a monetary windfall of further prosocial spending than those who recalled spending on themselves.

    This research shows that spending on others creates a positive feedback loop that encourages further prosocial spending and happiness. Combine this with the previous bit about people passing on good deeds and you’ll see how powerful simple act of gift giving can be.

    As these studies show, we all have the potential to be happy. It doesn’t take great deeds or vast fortunes. Rather, happiness is a mixture of being content with what you have and treating others kindly. There’s a bit of scientific advice we all could take to heart.

    Image Credit: Marcos Vasconcelos

    References:

    [1] Emmons R, McCullough M. Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2003, Vol. 84, No. 2, 377-389.

    [2] Gray K, et al. Paying It Forward: Generalized Reciprocity and the Limits of Generosity. J Exp Psychol Gen. 2012 Dec 17.

    [3] Aknin L, et al. Happiness Runs in a Circular Motion: Evidence for a Positive Feedback Loop between Prosocial Spending and Happiness. J Happiness Stud (2012) 13:347-355.

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  3. When you’re depressed: A lesson in self-forgiveness

    June 4, 2013

    stop self-blaming

    by Zita Weber, Ph.D.

    Too often, depression results from excessive self-criticisms.  When you’re feeling guilty, it’s easy to get too down on yourself.  Sometimes the guilt feelings are imaginary and even if they feel real, they can be overly intensified and make you feel worthless.    Getting away from this self-blaming approach is key to starting to feel better about yourself.

    Getting away from a self-blaming approach

    Learn to replace self-blame with a constructive and realistic attitude.  It’s always more empowering to look to the future and what you can do to improve your situation.  Don’t linger in the past.  Sometimes we hear what appear to be simplistic expressions such as:  ‘It’s all water under the bridge’ and ‘What’s done is done’.  Learn to embrace these expressions and take them seriously.  Make your peace with the past but resolve to do things in the present and the future that will make you feel better about yourself.  Learn from past mistakes, but don’t hold onto any blame.

    Learn to practice self-forgiveness

    Practicing self-forgiveness might sound challenging, but the devastating effects of not doing so are highlighted in a novel, Ironweed, which was made into a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep.  The main character, Francis Phelan, accidentally drops his infant son on the floor and the child dies of complications as a result of the injury.  Although this happened many years before the beginning of the novel, the tragic event is revealed through Francis’s nightmarish flashbacks.  Francis is restless, becomes a wanderer and an alcoholic.  While his wife is prepared to forgive him and have him back at home, Francis can’t forgive himself.  In not being able to forgive himself, he dooms himself to a hellish existence.  If only Francis could learn to forgive himself, he could reclaim his life.  The moral of the story is:  don’t be unforgiving of yourself.

    Begin practicing self-forgiveness by accepting that we all make mistakes and we all have times in our lives when we might feel down and depressed because we believe we haven’t met our own standards of behavior.  Learn from these challenges and make sure that you forgive yourself and move on to a more positive place.

    Keep a journal

    Keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings will help you tremendously when it comes to self-understanding – and self-forgiveness.  Don’t put pressure on yourself by keeping a daily journal if that doesn’t work for you – but make sure that you do write down the important thoughts and feelings that might lead to disorganized, chaotic and self-blaming ideas.

    It’s useful when keeping a journal to dialogue with yourself – ask yourself questions.  It might be difficult asking these questions of yourself, but remember – by asking yourself questions you are clarifying thoughts and feelings and adopting a more problem-solving stance.

    Asking questions – and answering them as honestly as possible – will empower you in your thinking, making matters clearer and imposing a kind of sense and order on them.

    For more skills and strategies in dealing with depression, see Losing the 21st Century Blues (http://zitaweber.com/new-releases/losing-the-21st-century-blues)

    Author Bio: Zita Weber, Ph.D. has worked as a counselor and therapist with individuals, couples and families.  She has researched and written about communication, relationships, sexuality, depression and loss and grief.  More information about her work and books can be found at:  http://zitaweber.com.

    Image Credit: Mark Sebastian

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  4. Been made redundant? How to turn it into a positive experience

    June 2, 2013

    Losing your job often comes as a massive shock, even though most of us are aware that it’s a danger which is always lurking in the shadows, no matter how well you perform the job or how long you’ve been doing it. Being made redundant can literally turn your whole life upside down. You find yourself suddenly removed from the routine, workplace and colleagues that have been a regular feature in your life, perhaps for many years. That’s aside from the financial worry that so frequently accompanies this huge change in your circumstances.

    Unfortunately, redundancy is a fact of modern life, as companies seem constantly to shed staff in an attempt to stay competitive. But is it possible that it can be a blessing in disguise for some? Being made redundant forces you to re-evaluate your life and consider your future in a whole new way. Maybe you’ve quietly harboured dreams of breaking free of the 9 to 5 but you couldn’t justify giving up your regular salary and pension benefits? Being made redundant can help you to cast off the shackles which were holding you back from pursuing new ideas because of fear of the unknown or of failure. The rug’s already been pulled out from under your feet, so what have you got to lose? Importantly, a financial settlement for your redundancy can also supply the capital which may have been a bar to starting a venture of your own.

    Though it may come at you out of the blue, redundancy can give you the opportunity to make fresh choices in life, whether that means going travelling, setting up your own business, or retraining for a completely different career.

    NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, can help anyone move forward in their career, but can be particularly useful if you are looking to make big changes in your life. It allows you to view the world differently, identify new opportunities and communicate better. NLP deals with how our minds take in and process information, how we make decisions and how we interact with others. Many of us have limiting beliefs which stop us from doing the things we are capable of achieving. NLP helps us to put those limiting beliefs to one side and become more positive. It’s seen by its supporters as a powerful development tool which can improve communication skills and thought processes on a personal and professional level.

    Just 2 weeks after attending her first course in NLP, Pip Thomas of UK-based firm Edge NLP was made redundant: you can read about Pip’s redundancy story here. It is a sad fact that one in seven UK workers have been made redundant since the economic downturn. She decided to see the positive side and was determined to use the skills she had learned in her course to set up a new business offering NLP advice and training to others.

    Pip says “I would never have dared to set up my own business if I hadn’t been made redundant. I came out of the NLP course full of inspiration and was able to put the skills that I learnt to good use when I was made redundant.”

    For Pip, her NLP training came at a crucial point in her life when she was in a position to maximise its benefits. Pip now tutors people who have been made redundant and finds that NLP really resonates with them. Her students use the practices they learn from her to help them review their objectives in life as well as to embed new skills and behaviours which can equip them to not just deal with, but make the most of, the situation they find themselves in.

    For some, redundancy can bring about positive changes. Whatever you decide to use redundancy as a catalyst for, her story is proof that although it does inevitably bring about major changes, there’s no reason they shouldn’t be for the better.

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  5. How to use positive affirmations for maximum psychological benefit

    June 1, 2013

    positive affirmations

    We all have the same goal in life when we strip all nonsense to the basics. We all wish to experience as much life as we can, and learn and grow from those experiences.

    Although we could never run of new things to try we seldom do. Most of us have a routine that we stick to for months, or even years.

    We all have baggage we carry

    The reason is that we all have some kind of baggage or a barrier that holds us back from really prospering. These barriers can come in many forms.

    For example, some of us may lack the confidence to go after what we want, others may believe that they are not good enough, and then there are those of us that are addicted to one thing or another, be it cigarettes, alcohol, food or something different entirely.

    Unfortunately it usually takes us a lot more time to deal with our problems than we both planned and hoped it would take. Some of us might never even get close to getting rid of our baggage.

    Positive Thinking

    The first, fundamental thing every one of us needs in order to be able to develop is a positive mindset.

    A positive mindset will make it much more likely that you will find the motivation, strength and endurance to do what needs to be done so you can finally start living the life of your dreams.

    There are many ways to rewire your psyche to think positively.

    Positive Affirmations

    Positive affirmations are just statements which we affirm to be true. We affirm those statements to ourselves.

    The goal of affirming sentences to ourselves is to start believing in them. Positive affirmations a person might recite to him or herself might include ones like “I am confident”, “I always go after what I want”, “I love myself” and “People find me attractive”, among countless others.

    Positive affirmations help solve pretty much any problem you may have, if they are used the right way. Here is list of a few problems they can help you deal with:

    • Confidence issues
    • Health issues
    • Weight loss
    • Quitting smoking
    • The law of attraction

    There are of course many more areas positive affirmations can help you with. You can find a huge list of positive affirmations written to help you deal with almost any problem imaginable at http://www.freeaffirmations.org/.

    How Do Positive Affirmations Work?

    The underlying reason positive affirmations work is repetition.

    Go back to the time when you were in primary school. The way you learnt anything was to repeat it enough times so that you were able to recite it at will, even if someone woke you up at any point during the night.

    That is the same way positive affirmations work. Repeat them enough times, and you will rewire your mind and replace the old, negative beliefs that hold you back with the new, positive ones that will help you take your life to the next level.

    You would use positive affirmations by first writing down the ones you believe would benefit you the most, and then setting up a time each day during which you would recite them to yourself.

    Do stay consistent. Reading them takes only a few minutes of your time per day, while the positive changes that the affirmations would bring would be permanent!

    The Best Way To Use Positive Affirmations

    There are a few things that can help you get the maximum benefit from reciting positive affirmations. Of course, over time you will develop a style that suits you best, but this is a list of things that work form most people.

        1. Stand in an upright position, take a good posture and relax your shoulders;

     

        2. Speak affirmations out loud one by one, with a tone of voice that leaves no doubt that you are confident in what you are saying;

     

        3. Speak in a slow, deliberate fashion. Take your time;

     

        4. Speak in front of a mirror so you are able to catch yourself if you are breaking any of the rules;

     

      5. Smile;

    Reciting affirmations two times per day, once when you get up, and once before you go to bed and repeating your list of affirmations a few times in a row could also help you to maximize their effectiveness.

    As already stated, they work because of repetition. Make a list of affirmations, schedule the time to recite them each day and do so in a confident manner fully believing in what you are saying, and over the next few weeks you should see gradual positive changes in your behavior, and also in the way you feel and the way you think.

    It would be advisable to make a promise to yourself that you will stick to reciting the affirmations for 30 days, and see where to go from there. Basically, when you experience the results after those 30 days have passed, you might realize that positive affirmations might have been the best thing you have discovered in your life.

     

    Image Credit: Spencer Williams

     

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  6. Discover Your Dharma or How I Quit My Job

    May 26, 2013

    discover your dharma

    by Luba Kholov

    “O Indra, lead us on the path of Rta, on the right path over all evils”

    10th mandala of the Rigveda

    Dharma is an ancient Sanskrit term. It’s literal meaning is “that which upholds, supports or maintains the regulatory order of the universe” It sounds a bit New Agey, but in essence it means the purpose of one’s life. It doesn’t mean the final destination, but the path one takes. The Law of Dharma means awakening oneself and using person’s unique talents to serve the humanity.

    How do you discover your Dharma? You don’t have to ask anyone about it, because you already have the answer. All answers are within you. If you are unable to hear your inner voice, that is the problem you have to solve.

    People started thinking about Dharma concept thousands of years ago and still think about it to this day – of course, if they have time. Most of us just don’t have the luxury of free time and thinking of Dharma isn’t our top priority… We don’t think about the meaning of life. We need to pay bills, finish assignments on time, satisfy a lover, build our career or take care of the kids.  By society’s definition, you need to be on top of all of these aspects of life and perform well in every regard in order to be successful, worthy and respected. Yet, as a result, people get sick, depressed and exhausted. Why? If you have ever spent a day commuting via the New York City subway system, you definitely understand what I’m talking about.

    (more…)

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  7. Lets Be Happy – Positive Psychology in Action

    May 23, 2013

    I am back from a week of R&R in Kripalu Yoga Center and feeling very POSITIVE. Seriously positive! It is not only the yoga, meditation, scenery, nature hikes, and being surrounded with nice people, etc. It is also seeing people actively pursuing their goal of living HAPPY lives. As Tal Ben-Shahar, a positive psychology guru, once said “There’s more people wanting to be happy than rich”. Well, we all know “money cannot buy happiness”, so why not go straight to the goal and be happy? Simple eh? Well it is indeed.

    Tal happened to be in Kripalu this week teaching the course on Positive Psychology for social workers and therapists. I didn’t attend the course but spoke to some participants and they were totally overwhelmed. Apparently, being happy is SIMPLE! You just have to focus on the right things. Here I’d like to offer this short video by Tal Ben-Shahar talking about the “Incredible Power of Positivity”. Just watch and learn:

     

     

    So let’s start asking these questions: “what’s going well in your life?”, “what’s going well in your relationships?”, “what are your strengths?”. Let’s talk about our happy moments and happy experience and focus on positives. May be this will shift your balance and attitude?

    According to Dalai Lama, “Compassion is a state of mind where you extend how you relate to yourself toward others as well” If you dislike or even hate yourself you’ll create this “hate wave” towards others as well. Dalai Lama teaches us that the key is to start loving ourselves first: “Yourself first, and then in a more advanced way the aspiration will embrace others. In a way, high levels of compassion are nothing but an advanced state of that self-interest. That’s why it is hard for people who have a strong sense of self-hatred to have genuine compassion toward others. There is no anchor, no basis to start from.”

     

     

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  8. 7 Secrets To A Successful Marriage

    May 20, 2013

    successful marriage

    by Margie Weigler

    Divorce rates are high, and even a lasting marriage is no guarantee that the relationship is a happy or successful one. Yet some couples seem to go on year after year and decade after decade and grow stronger through all of the trials of life. What are the secrets of those couples?

    A Change in Attitude

    Nobody feels in love all the time. People can’t force themselves to feel things, of course, but the ebb and flow of emotions during a long marriage are normal. The essence of commitment is continuing to behave in a loving manner even during times when one feels less than loving. The feelings of love will eventually return.

    Build Intimacy

    Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman have done extensive research on marriages that last, and one of their most important findings is that couples need to build intimacy with one another by responding to what the Gottmans refer to as “intimacy bids.” If couples are not responsive to one another in this way, the marriages tend to fail.

    Be Your Own Person

    While building intimacy is crucial, it’s also important to maintain independence. Couples who have their own friends and interests retain a strong sense of self and stay together because they choose to rather than out of an inability to be alone. These types of couples also continually bring a fresh and interesting perspective back to the marriage.

    Communicate

    The ability to communicate about everything from wants and needs to dreams and even just what happened during the day is crucial to a strong marriage. Different people may have different communication needs; some may not want to go over what happened at work that day while others may feel that several texts or phone calls throughout the day are necessary. The important thing is for partners to make an effort to meet one another’s communication needs.

    Avoid Gottman’s “Four Horseman”

    John Gottman has also identified four tendencies that he considers the death knell for relationships. Contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling are the four behaviors during conflict that will lead nearly every marriage to failure. Couples need to work hard on avoiding these in order to keep their marriages strong.

    Support One Another

    Among other things, marriage is about mutual support. Whether a partner loses a job, returns to school or faces other challenges in life, a marriage should provide a safe haven for both partners. Support also means being there for one another in the good times. No one should be happier than one’s spouse when a promotion or another important goal is reached.

    Make Quality Time

    It can be easy to fall into a pattern of going to work, taking care of chores and looking after children. Couples must make time to simply be together. They shouldn’t use that time to solve problems or deal with the mundane details of life. It’s not necessary to plan expensive weekends away. Date nights can be arranged even if babysitters are hard to come by. Half an hour talking on the sofa after the children are in bed a few times a week can go a long way toward keeping a marriage strong.

    Image Credit: Katsu Nojiri 

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  9. On Meaning In Life and Logotherapy – based on “Man’s Search for Meaning”

    May 18, 2013

    meaning in life and logotherapy

    “Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for”. —Viktor Frankl

    by Amanda Greene

    An analysis of Viktor Frankl’s book on meaning of life and Logotherapy style of psychoanalysis.

    Psychiatrist, neurologist and social visionary Viktor Frankl developed Logotherapy/Existential Analysis (LTEA). In this school of thought in psychology, the search for a meaning in life is identified as the primary motivational force in human beings.

    Frankl’s approach is based on three philosophical and psychological concepts:

    • Freedom of Will
    • Will to Meaning
    • Meaning in Life

    The motivation for Frankl’s path in life as a psychiatrist was born of his own struggle and grief. He was imprisoned in four different Nazi concentration camps, including Auschwitz, between 1942 and 1945. He beat some amazing odds and survived the ordeal although his parents, brother, and pregnant wife all fell victim to the horrors. Over three years’ time, with all that he witnessed in the death camps, he was able to turn his awful experience and the observations he made during it into a positive lesson for spiritual survival; he dedicated his life to helping and others through their psychological troubles and inspiring millions through his books.

    His most popular book, a recounting of his experiences during World War II is “Man’s Search for Meaning”.  It is also considered an influential self-help book that illustrates his school of thought, which is prevalent in psychotherapy practices still today.  The book has been translated into twenty four different languages and, at the time of Frankl’s death in 1997, his book had sold over 10 million copies. “Man’s Search for Meaning” is listed among the ten most influential books in America according to a reader survey that asked readers to name a “book that made a difference in your life”.

    A recent Psychology Today  article explains Frankl’s message is “ultimately one of hope: even in the most absurd, painful, and dehumanizing situation, life can be given a meaning, and so too can suffering.” His experiences in the horrendous conditions of a concentration camp were the catalyst of forming his school of thought in psychology that still applies today. What was no doubt some of the worst conditions imposed upon humans brought him to the deduction that human motivation in life is meaning. This was very different than the previous schools of thought from Freud and Adler who were also Viennese psychotherapists. Freud maintained that human motivation was based on pleasure.  Adler’s way of thinking was that power was the basis of human motivation. After his release Frankl founded the school of Logotherapy, which is often referred to as the ‘Third Viennese School of psychotherapy’ because it came after those of Freud and Adler. Logotherapy’s name comes from the Ancient Greek word logos meaning ‘reason’ or ‘principle’. The goal of Logotherapy is to carry out an existential analysis of the person and, in so doing, to help him discover meaning for his life. Frankl, believed that meaning can be found in the following three ways:

    • Creativity or giving something to the world through self- expression,
    • Experiencing the world by interacting authentically with our environment and with others, and
    • Changing our attitude when we are faced with a situation or circumstance that we cannot change.

    Based on his own experience and the experiences of those he treated in his practice, Frankl argues, “we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose.” LTEA circles around the idea of the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful. He did not question why all of those innocent people died in the concentration camps, but pondered why any lived. It was not a question of wanting to live for many; it was finding meaning and purpose. According to Frankl, “The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in life.” He listed the three ways he believed individuals could achieve this: work (doing something significant), in love (caring for someone), and finding courage in difficult times. He maintained the idea that suffering in itself is meaningless; it is the way in which we respond to suffering that gives it meaning.

    Perhaps the most powerful message from Frankl that we can all learn from and can be applied to all events past, present and future is that forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except for one thing and that is the freedom to choose how you respond to a situation.

    His theories apply today, especially with the many unfortunate incidents that occur in our daily lives, personal tragedies and national incidents that make most question how and why. Senseless shootings, environmental accidents, threats of war, and depletion of Earth’s resources all contribute to negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. Yet people still find meaning in the world and meaning in everyday life. When someone sets up a charity to honor loved ones lost so that others can be helped and when the father of a fallen US Soldier hands out American flags to promote pride of our country, they are doing something significant and not letting the circumstances out of their control interfere with responding in a way that has meaning.

    Born in Vienna in 1905 Viktor E. Frankl earned an M.D. and a Ph.D. from the University of Vienna. He published more than thirty books on theoretical and clinical psychology and served as a visiting professor and lecturer at Harvard, Stanford, and elsewhere. In 1977 a fellow survivor, Joseph Fabry, founded the Viktor Frankl Institute of Logotherapy. Frankl died in 1997.

    His therapeutic techniques are still used by many psychologists and psychiatrists today in an effort to help people help themselves. This is achieved through self-analysis with the help of a psychotherapist and guided self-observation. The therapist revisits the improper behaviors in an exaggerated fashion so that it can be evident to the patient. The goal is to get to the point where patients can distance themselves from situations enough it can help them see the wrong thought patterns and inappropriate behaviors. Patients are then guided to making conscious decisions to find meaning in all situations and restore productive living.

    Image Credit: Sheldon Wood

    Category Happiness and Fulfillment, Motivational, Positive Psychology Blog, Search For Meaning Blog | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on On Meaning In Life and Logotherapy – based on “Man’s Search for Meaning”

  10. Pushing Your Limits With Positive Thinking

    May 11, 2013

    motivation to get fit

    It’s true that exercise boosts confidence; however, everyone is prone to moments of doubt and negative self-talk – the key to overcoming or pushing through challenges is with positive thinking.  Before you cross that finish line you’ll want to give up and before you lose those next 10 pounds, you’ll want to cheat; positive thinking will help you stay on top of your goal whether it’s a better diet, increasing your 1 rep max, or finishing that first race.  So, when you want to give up, drop the dumbbell, or curse burpees, it’s time to practice these positive thinking exercises to help you stick to those goals.

     

    Find Your Mantra

    Mantra is like a mini pep-talk; words or phrases that resonate with you and move you to action.  Your words or phrase may only mean something to you, based off of a past event in your life or a goal of where you want to be.  Whatever it is, it must drive you and encourage you to push beyond what you believe you are capable of at that time.  These words of affirmation need to be repeated often; when you’re strong, when you’re in doubt, when you are about to give up – give yourself your pep-talk.  Say it in front of the mirror as you stand tall; believe what you tell yourself and most of all believe in yourself.  Here are some mantra ideas you can try:

    • Eat for the body you want, not for the body you have.
    • I deserve this.
    • Of course it’s hard.  It’s supposed to be hard.  If it were easy, everybody would do it.
    • I never regret a good workout.
    • The food I eat today is the body I wear tomorrow.
    • You know your limit, and this is NOT it.
    • There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

     

    See it to Believe It

    We’ve all heard of great stars visualizing the game-winning basket, as conceded as it sounds, visualization is how they got to be that star in the first place; you need to see it to believe it.  Spend time visualizing yourself crossing that finish line, see that scale read 10 pounds lighter, or imagine yourself rocking the body solid leverage gym.  This exercise is important in positive thinking because visualizing where you want to be helps you see the path you need to take and it motivates you to action.  The more you see it, the more you can believe it.  And when you have moments of doubt, setbacks, and moments of trial, stop and visualize where you want to be and what you need to do to get there.

     

    Acknowledge Your Progress

    Keeping a log of what you do or what you eat isn’t to guilt you into working out every day; it’s a way to track your progress.  You should record what you did, how you felt, how you’ve improved, and take pride in what you’ve done!  Sure, you’ve probably made mistakes, but with positive thinking it’s important to reflect on those mistakes to determine you where you can improve rather than to beat yourself up.  As you analyze where you’ve been and where you are now, think on experiences where you were successful or that made you happy, and have helped you realize that it’s all been worth it.  These moments are what will keep you going when you’re ready to give in.

    Setting and reaching your goals can be hard and discouraging, but if you use positive thinking to face your obstacles with an optimistic outlook you’ll be on your way to setting new limits.  So before you throw in the towel, try one of these exercises to renew your motivation.

     Image Credit: Lululemon Athletica

    Category Fitness and Exercise, Motivational | Tags: ,,,,,,,,, | Comments Off on Pushing Your Limits With Positive Thinking

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